I’m not judging any individual, I said a solo male vacation to Thailand is a flag. Which is the whole point of the post, so what are you even saying here? I hope when I check you are admonishing everyone else who responded…

Oh look at that… not just that but you are a top level commenter judging people. Hmmm.

Oh I know. I’ve been there, twenty years ago. It’s a wonderful place and I hope to take my kids there some day.

But the reputation isn’t for no reason. It’s at the top of my list for problematic places for single men to travel alone to, but that doesn’t mean it’s not an awesome place to go or even that all single men traveling solo are there for bad intent.

I would highly encourage people to go there. The more non-sex tourism they get, the better for everyone, I think.

This was with Roberts-Sinto 35 years ago. I’m sure a lot has changed.

I feel like Thailand is a more concerning destination for single men, but I’m not familiar with other sex tourism destinations. I know the Dominican Republic was big for some but I was just there with my wife and didn’t see anything concerning.

I used to think I was going to be an astronaut, but then I needed glasses and so that was out. Then I wanted to make robots but I went to a robotics company for a high school project and they explained engineers don’t build anything and the technicians don’t design anything. That’s no fun.

So now I’m in business software. I do enjoy coding a lot and it could be a dream job but honestly, I work with and for a lot… bad companies, bad designers, and bad managers. And again if I want to do their jobs, I don’t get to do the technical stuff I want to do. I’m pursuing other team lead positions but I’ve done that before and it’s just a bit better.

I just want to build good software and no one else really gives a shit to improve their trade. I shouldn’t be telling UX specialists their design sucks for users. I shouldn’t be telling service engineers how to design APIs. I shouldn’t be telling corporate architects their default package layout is bad and non-standard making it difficult for engineers to navigate until they get familiar.

I wouldn’t mind training all this stuff, but that would cut my pay in half, and I need all that money for quality of life outside of work.

Pretty sure I’m just going to be cranky until I retire even though I enjoy what I do.

Upvote:

• comment was helpful, insightful, humorous, or provoked good conversation
• reply to me that I agree with, appreciate, or disagrees with me in a respectful or thought-provoking way

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• unprovoked user demonstrates a hostile, combative attitude
• comment unrelated to topic/thread

Block:

• I recognize user based on downvote behavior in multiple threads or user is particularly egregious in particular: bigotry, demagoguery, sea-lioning, or other deliberate offensiveness.

Saw a documentary on them ages ago and they’ve always stuck with me for some reason.

What is genuine political discussion? How do you moderate it? Who is going to come when it’s moderated? How do you deal with both legitimate and legitimate complaints about biased moderation?

I just don’t think it’s a thing on social media. I think it can happen in private conversations, but as soon as it becomes more about winning an argument or posturing for readers, I think any hope of earnest discourse is lost. The more public a conversation, the worse it is. It’s like trying to argue with a bully in front of their friends. You might be able to reach the humanity in them, but not in that moment.

There is also a dearth of cannibalistic viewpoints here. And Zoroastrians are woefully underrepresented.

I don’t come here to change my views (though it happens from time to time), and neither do they. I’m not ignorant of their thoughts; I’m inundated with them every day. I don’t need to interact with assholes here. I don’t want to come here and watch people scream back and forth at each other, and I definitely am not interested in participating—there is a reason I’ve left other social media.

I like when people volunteer for my blocklist. Rarely are they as desperate as OP.

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What I’ve heard (fairly recently) is do not skimp on anything that goes between you and the ground: bed, shoes, office chair. I’d add carpet to that because my feet hurt standing on hardwood/vinyl/thin carpet and I often have to wear shoes indoors.

I try to turn things around and ask their perspective and then point out things where I have a different take. Try to make analogies with things they do in their job. The key is to try and ground what you’re saying in things they already understand.

But also keep in mind there are conversations where the other person is disinclined to understand. In the case of salary negotiations, it’s often not in their own interest to understand why your ask is reasonable.

Maybe these people feel they’re marginalised because they already hate men and men avoid them?

Spoken like someone marginalized people are right to avoid. Not every community or post requires you to share your thoughts, particularly if you lack the perspective they want to hear from.

It’s one closed door out of an infinity. Move on and don’t worry about it. I don’t knowingly go into black or Christian or women or queer spaces and share my perspectives on their issues. My point of view is represented to those communities incessantly every day. They will be fine without our contributions.

I have my Amazon orders come to a fake name to differentiate from my wife who orders under my name. I’m not saying you’re wrong, but there is clearly a loophole.

My reflection on that period would lead me to suggest it was the mass “normie” invasion of nerd-space and the promotion of low-effort participation. I don’t remember anything specific about that particular timeframe, though.

The internet was better when it wasn’t big enough to be worth monetizing. And the signal to noise ratio has generally grown exponentially with participation. Which makes sense if you think about it.

To expand on that, all media with a negligible barrier to entry is social media. Which describes the internet as a whole. The commodification of such media is both unnecessary and parasitic. The only thing “social media” adds is accessibility.

If they are the right person they won’t give a fuck. I like partners who know what they are doing, know what they like, and aren’t shy about communicating. High body count might just mean a sense of adventure. Or someone was learning what they like. It’s all good.

I appreciate your perspective. I’m cautiously hopeful that the culture is good, but it’s a big enough company (major auto manufacturer) that it likely depends on what part of the company you’re in. I’m angling for a perm hire after a year in this department because I’d like to foster a longer term relationship both ways.

I don’t know the structure well enough. My own manager seems… fine. He listened a couple of times when I was trying to solve some problems and my tech lead wasn’t. But he’s not the person to make waves and get shit done. He’s very much go along to get along, but he’s easy to work with. As a contractor, I don’t think I can go around him, politically, but maybe once I have some real time in and a permanent position.

Thanks again!

I block people who are assholes regardless of whether I believe in their points or not. The behavior is stressful and frankly encourages a way of interacting that makes me into a person I don’t want to be. Yeah, it makes the small Lemmy community slightly smaller but that’s okay because it makes for a better social environment for me. I don’t want to dwell on hate and anger.