40 now. At 20 I was a know-it-all crusader against having kids and now my two children are the absolute center of my universe.

I can’t even begin to explain the kind of joy these two kids create out of thin air. It’s simply beyond my ability to describe how much I love them and how grateful that I am to have met a woman I loved so much that it seemed wrong to not want to bring more of her into the world.

I am so fucking overwhelmed that my life turned out the way it has that I suffer from hidden imposter syndrome because I just don’t feel like I deserve to be this happy.

All I can do is try to be a worthy father and husband.

'Tis Cinna, I do know him by his gait.

It’s a thing!

I am a father by choice, but I truly struggled as a parent for the first year or so of my first child’s life. I loved my son, in the way that I was absolutely certain that I would run into a burning building to save him, would gladly give my life to protect him, but I didn’t have that bond with him… if I’m being honest I think I didn’t truly like him during this time. It was more like a responsibility that I took very seriously than the kind of warm love that may be the ideal that people have in mind for how father’s feel about their children.

Once he had outgrown his crib, I decided to renovate a bedroom in our home for him. I painted, decorated, built furniture, and generally turned this room into a toddler’s paradise. It came time to let my son see it and my wife brought him to the room.

This child’s reaction was the most genuinely beautiful thing I had ever seen. He could barely form words at this age, but the sound of him shouting “Meees Happys!! Meeees Happppys!!!” over and over and screaming in pure joy as he explored this space was indescribable and will be forever etched into my heart until my dying day.

It absolutely took over my soul in a way that I can’t describe. From that point on I got it.

I tell this story to new dads in my life all the time because I wish I had known that I would get it eventually instead of feeling broken for the first 18 months of my son’s life.

I changed that day from a man doing his duty for his family to a dad and I never looked back.

This is it for me. I will just stop playing. Dying Light did this to me and it feels like such a lazy design mechanic. It’s not fun, it’s not a surprise twist, it’s just plain lazy. I have no idea if DL2 has this lazy design because they’re never going to get a penny from me to find out.

Devs: Stop doing this crap!