God, you and I must be soul twins. Now I am middle aged, and I can clap back so hard, no one laughs… until the recipient leaves the room. Then they all come up to me as if I just gave a beautifully funny wedding toast.
I am not lonely, and I am not a dick. Just a fucking prick.
But you just about described my life.


I know, I need more copper and plastics in my diet.