Druid

First off, it’s ok to be in this mental state - it’s nothing to be ashamed of or angry at, as uncomfortable as it is. Because ultimately, thinking about each and everyone’s “purpose” is is not a bad thing per se. It’s what helped me branch out and starting an apprenticeship in something I wasn’t sure I’d be fit for after stumbling around in university and not knowing what to do with my life.

That said, I think life is about creating heaven on earth as far and much as possible. All your good deeds don’t go unnoticed and don’t go away if you die. It’s about making something meaningful and special, be it to you or to others.

Who cares if there even is an afterlife. You can just exist in the here and now and make the best of it. Granted, a lot of things are going south right now, but it’s the thought that counts.

Re-unite with family with whom you’ve not been in touch for a while, meet new friends, experience new things, be a good friend. All of these things generate value either for you or for others and these are the things that count in the long term.

But also don’t feel bad if you don’t live up to your expectations every single day. It’s ok to take time off, to focus on yourself and not sacrifice your well-being for others all the time.

Not sure if any of this helps, but it’s what’s helping/helped me and these were my thoughts in regards to this subject. Lots of love - get better soon 💜