What do you think the mask hating whiners are? They’re toddlers with voting rights.

Yes and no. Statistically you’re must likely to be poor, oppressed, and/or badly ill. If you reroll enough times though, you’ll end up with a good start eventually.

Hippos rapidly flip their tails around while pooping on land, which flings it out behind them. Seriously, look it up on YouTube or something., It’s hilarious and never leaves your brain.

I would like to move to Canada - I even have an in, as my grandfather was from there. Circumstance, however, prevents it as a practical goal.

Karen.

I looked up my name, David, once and it is almost unchanged and easily recognizable in most languages - even the Welsh couldn’t fuck it up beyond recognition (Dafydd). Them damn biblical names have staying power, what with all the bullshit they’ve contaminated the world with.

That actually makes it funnier lol

There’s a song about that.

Under the premise of a life not being a commodity, then each time you save a specific life it counts as +1 life saved. Or if you’re a bastard then who cares.

They’re sure trying their best.

They can advertise in hell. Next question.

Just tell the interviewer how great their feet look.

Only the best Xmas movie if all time - Gremlins.

The only divide on the left right now is the the traitorous assholes - none of whom are up for reelection - who voted to end of the shutdown. Fuck you Dick Durbin. If I had you in a room for 5 minutes with a megaphone I would definitely so hard that your ancestors would be able to hear it.

While it has what can be considered a use case, to increase your visibility in the dark. However it’s a terrible solution. Instead wear a high-vis reflective vest, and/or wear some kind of clip-on lights. I’ve got a high-power clip-on flashlight that I put on my belt for when I have to walk into our dark-ass parking lot, or otherwise need to see where I’m going and don’t want to risk getting run over.

I’ve seen it occasionally where they’ll marry a makeup artist or stage hand or something. Sir Patrick Stewart’s wife is a theater actress, IIRC. But I can’t think of many cases where some A-Lister married somebody they saw sticking shelves at the Walmart.

Plot twist, there’s a transmitter attached to it that signals whatever his communicator is. The bat signal is pure theatrics, turning it on just pings Batman’s pager.

First existential crisis? Don’t worry, they get easier after a few. The answer is simple once you learn how to embrace it: it doesn’t matter. Real, fake, it’s completely irrelevant. Go get high, play Halo, get some ice cream, and let somebody who gets paid to think about this stuff deal with it.

Stupid cultists. This exact thing has happened for thousands of years. Some years back one of these rapture cults popped up and I mentioned to my coworker that the world was ending. His response: when’s it happening this time? Comedy gold.

Cleaner, though we’d have to exceed 100% to get everything out of the environment. That’s a tall order for microplastics in particular - we’re gonna have to live with Vitamin P for a long, long time. Maybe if they finally come up with a way to cheaply eat it with microbes without accidentally obliterating all plastics on earth. That would be inconvenient AF.