Flubo

I dont agree with the people saying its impossible. It does take time and efford but its not impossible. I know a couple, together for about 10years at the time where he not only cheated but then even broke up to be with the other woman. It didnt last long. After about 2 years the original couple came back together - it was a slow transition of meeting because of the Child, meeting AS friends etc. It was very hard in the beginning. They did a therapy for couples which helped a lot, but still sometimes she would make a comment on the matter even a few years later. But It got less with time. By now its gone. They are one of the happiest couples i know with more trust in each other than i have Seen in other couples. Because it was an active decision to stay AS a couple. Because they had to speak a lot about their relationship after that event and went on doing so, what many couples stop with time. And the therapy surely hepled with that process. I dont know how Bad your case is. If a therapy is needed and how openly you discuss your feelings. But try to signal your wife how much this event showed you that you want her - of course only if the case. And decide together how you can fix things that lead to this event. Maybe do one date per week Where you take time AS a couple. Or one hour per week to discuss how your relationship is going what you liked what you didnt like in the Past week. Sometimes it will only take 10min and sometimes you’ll need the hour… I think something in that direction could help a lot and just proposing it shows your wife you want to change.

I also have a friend who had an older dad. They had a very good relationship. Lots of good memories. The only time this friend mentioned that the age gap was hard, was when their dad died quiet suddenly at the age of 80, when my friend was only 21. An age were you still rely on your parents more than you would like to admit. The friend was sad that his father didn’t met their new partner and didn’t see their career. But apart from that my friend was very happy to actually have a dad.

Here’s my point. I have a couple of friends that grew up without dads. They didn’t care about their child when the relationship ended. I also have 2 friends whose young parents died when my friends where in their twenties due to diseases.

So I don’t see why you shouldn’t be happy about your child and have a good life. Sure you might me available to them shorter than other parents but that can happen to younger parents too. Also you might be lucky and get 100 years old. No one knows. With a loving dad your kid will have more than other kids.

Just try to go with the time a bit or at least not to judge the new times to hard. My mum never was good with computers and smartphones and instead of admiring us “children” (i am adult) for what we can use them for, she’s often complaining about us using them. No matter whether its for learning a language, reading newspaper or playing games. Things like that might occur more often when you have an larger age gap but when you are aware you can fix it easily.

So far, I found that many people underestimate the soft skills they bring. For many (not all) jobs the actual knowledge of the field you need to fulfill the job can be learned quite fast. But they need people that are good organizers or good communicators or good critics, or people that dive in and check every detail or people good in seeing the bigger picture. I sometimes think its more important to find a job fitting to your softskills than to your degree. In an ideal Job it would be both of course.

For example. My father switched fields from social worker to systems administrator. Most would say what a big shift, but he just loves to help people - no matter if its their daily life or their computers he can help with. But IT had better job opportunities. He is very happy.

Tell us more about your skills and maybe we have more specific ideas for you.

In my experience you get PhD not by being super intelligente but for being patient and stress resilient. And for both of them you need curiousity and enthusiasm in the field. A lot. Dont know for other countries but here in germany my PhD with medium Grades was good enough to get a lot of Jobs AS long as i let them See a glimpse of my Enthusiasmus for science.

This is a very tough situation. I would leaveand freeze everythigng thtat was in this room for long. I guess if they put out traps they have bed bugs. A place with bed bugs will not give you any sleep. A friend of mine said it made her mad that they come at night when she sleeps and bite her. She couldnt Fall asleep anymore…

But there is a lot oft Brands oft barefoot shoes (in Europe) that nowadays dont look ugly anymore and some Brands offer sneakers.

Stanislav Lem wrote really good short stories next to his amazing books.

In my opinion he is the most philosophical, most intelligent and best in physics among all sciencefiction authors. I think his most famous book is Solaris but everything I read of him was actually really interesting - including the short stories.

Be aware that stories of his early career are more funny while later he got really pessimistic about humans in general.