Ask the dumbass who wrote the pledge

The first version was written in 1885 by Captain George Thatcher Balch, a Union Army officer in the Civil War who later authored a book on how to teach patriotism to children in public schools.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pledge_of_Allegiance

People would be more careful about signing terms of service

Oops, accidentally clicked “I agree” to Disney’s TOS. Now I’m bound to offer my first-born child as a sacrifice 💀

“five parties”

Wish Granted:

KuKluxKlan

Nazis

MAGA

Original Italian Fascists

Imperial Japan Fascists

Monkey Paw Curls

I’ll take that Reddit-Like planet over whatever the fuck we have right now.

Edit: Btw, if y’all haven’t already, watch The Orville. Its fun 😉

“I pledge allegience to the flag…”

“MOTHERFUCKER, STAY AWAY FROM THE 🇺🇸 FLAG, OR I WILL BE FORCED TO OPEN FIRE!!!”

The magic compels you to fullfill your oaths. If you try to resist the magic, you die of a brain aneurysm that’s uncurable by any doctor.

Every person age 18 or above can now cast “approve” or “disapprove” votes. If disapproval is 50% or more, the president is executed. If a person dies without casting “approve” it is presumed as “disapprove” (this prevents the president from ordering the death of people).

Democrat, Republican, Whatever, somebody need to have a sustained positive approval, or they die. Politics is solved.

What jurisdiction? I don’t think it’s required, usually its an alternative punishment instead of prison. So I think you do have a choice of just being in prison for a long time (but that still doesn’t solve the issue with your brain, so you would reoffend if you ever get out).

I’m not gonna blame people. I don’t believe in free will, so I know its not like you’re trying to harm people, its just brain chemicals. But here’s the thing. Imagine, there’s a defect in someone’s brain that makes them wanna kill people, and there’s a medical procedure that stops that from happening. Do you think they should be compelled to have the procedure, so they can re-intergrate in society? (I mean, the alternative is life imprisonment)

Its like a computer with malware, if tge malware isn’t removed, it has to disconnected from the internet so it stops spreading. (“disconnecting from the internet” is imprisonment in this analogy) It’s not your fault you have a defective brain, but society doesn’t trust you to be going around without being cured.

thepiratebay(dot)org

Because I’m broke AF.

As a member of the Yotsuba Executive, I have voted for trump…

for his name to be written in the Death Note by Kira.

“Death by choking on a Big Mac on live tv”

No Regrets.

I use the default, because its the least likely to have issues, since its most close to the source code. Alternative front-ends are not made by the Lemmy devs so there could be compatibility issues.

I’m not interested in marriage. Never had any urges for sex, and never desired romantic relationships. I think I’m asexual/aromantic. My parents keep threatening to withhold any inheritances if I don’t get married. I’m like wtf, this is some medieval shit? Are their stuff like a kingdom? wtf is this BS? I guess I’m just not getting anything… 🤷‍♂️

But anyways, marriage is a formality, its mostly for legal rights and tax purposes.

If you two commit a crime together, you cant (in many jurisdictions) be compelled to testify against each other. So its a good idea if you wanna run a drug cartel.

I’m kidding 😁

But marriage is probably a good idea if you want children.

Just google “What are the benefits of marriage in [your jurisdiction]” and see if you like it.

Nah, I rather keep it open on the forum, DMs feel awkward for me… (and being open on the forums might help others reading this thread too, who are also facing similar struggles)

What do you want to talk about? Got any cool TV Shows or Movies I can watch to feel better? I’m kinda bored and maybe some good content would cheer me up a bit. (I’m out of stuff to watch, nothing seems fun to me, I just watch random youtube videos right now)

Ah yes, the lovely child labor.

/s

New Religion: Fascist-Buddhism

Goal: Genocide every other living creature to attain Human Dominance over the planet, in order to ensure every incarnation is in a human body. Wait, but aliens might exist. Therefore, it is our duty to eliminate all other species, throughout the entire universe. Heil Buddha!

For most unhealthy people, it is years and years of suffering from various ailments as soon as you get to a certain age.

I’ll execute plan B: KMS 🙃

The mythology of how it is supposed to work is that you get a mindwipe before the reincarnation.

And who said anything about being human again? You could also end up a roach that gets squished, then reborn as some insect that gets eaten, then reborn as a pet that gets abused… etc…

So yea, thanks Buddhists, I’m feeling wonderful 🫠 (sarcasm)

There is no afterlife, no nirvana, no reincarnation

Even better. Stop stuffering.

Seriously, is it suspicious to have none?

https://apnews.com/article/social-media-immigration-applicants-handles-dhs-f67b480abebff7e451056be17572593d