Can’t tell if Charley Kelly, or the lucky charms leprechan.

So what you’re saying is we should be on the lookout for men who don’t have the right or authority to do things, but try to force their way in anyway. Those are the guys who want to be ultimate unquestioned dictator.

Like…maybe we should grab these guys, and throw them out of any meaningful positions of power. And if they’re criminals, we should throw them in jail. When you’re a criminal they let you do it. So we should just grab them by the balls, and lock them up!

…I really wanted to include a reference to hunter bidens laptop, but couldn’t make it work in that joke.

When I was drinking, my favorite martini was Bacardi 151. They don’t make it anymore, because the 151 is the proof. Meaning it’s 75.5% alcohol by volume.

What people were doing was taking the 151, pouring it in a glass, setting it on fire, and then drinking it while it was still on fire.

Well, it’s liquid. It spills easily, even little droplets. And it’s on fire. So these drunk people in their early 20s were setting themselves on fire. The drink would spill onto their shirt, and now their shirt is on fire.

On top of that, the fact that it was so strong was something young people weren’t expecting at the time.

So they’d drink it, with the same expectency of it being like jack danials, or skyy vodka. It’s a little less than twice as strong as those. And it burns like fire going down. Even without literal fire. And then after a few drinks of that they don’t have a nice buzz like they thought. They have a full on blackout drunk where they aren’t in control of themselves AT ALL.

That was my cocktail of choice 20+ years ago. Just a glass, pour in the 151, and that’s the drink. Your “chaser” is that you lick a pussy riiiiiight after. I’ve been told it’s a weird sensation. Like a warming and tingle on the clit, as it’s being licked.

Never try boxed wine.

When I was 21, my job had someone lose an entire massive jug of wine in a box. It sat in lost and found for a month before I just took it.

Second worst thing that has ever been in my mouth. I invited people over to try it. If they liked it, they could have it. I figured “I’m not a wine guy, but it’s free booze.”

I couldn’t take more than a sip. Nobody could.

We had to throw the damn thing away.

“Extra dirty please!”

bartender mixes the drink with his penis

Hey, stay strong brother. That one drink isn’t worth giving up your progress. I don’t know you, but I’m proud for you.

Yeah. Acquired from the bartender.

I mean…when you put it like that, you’re not wrong.

I’ve been saying for years that this country is a dumpster fire of hate and repulsive people.

…who’s joking?

This comments remind me of youtube videos from the early 2010s where they’d end the video by saying “And don’t forget to subscribe. It’s free and easy!”

I bought this big ass bag of mozzarella from Target. It was like 3 lbs for like $7. I was like “This seems like even if I have no use for it, I should buy it.”

Dude. You GOTTA buy it. Do you have ANY idea how crazy it is to walk to the fridge, grab a fistfull of mozzarella and walk back to your recliner while snacking on cheese?

It’s one of those habits that you initially think “What? Who DOES that???” and then you think “Well…if I had THAT MUCH mozzarella with no intended use…I guess I would too…”

And now I’ve eaten all of it slowly over the coarse of 2 months. Just fistfulls of late night cheese. And now I want to go back to the store and buy ANOTHER one. So from that perspective, the purpose is now to be fisted. That’s why I’m buying this cheese. To be fisted.

Mozzarella is awesome!

Wow wow wow…wow.

We trash and bash in the mosh pitts, and get out our aggression. But if someone falls, you YANK them up. Many times I’ve fallen, and then suddenly felt myself lifted high into the air by the hand of god. Then I can see who lifted me, and it turns out it wasn’t god. It was a long haired, bearded, tattood muscleman. Which makes sense. I’m like 300lbs. If you’re suddenly yanking me up effortlessly, you’re a big muscle man. And then there’s other times I see women fall. I yank them up. I’m doing the right thing, I KNOW I’m doing the right thing, but the whole time I’m just like “Sorry sorry sorry sorry.” because you don’t aim where you grab. You grab and yank up, by whatever you can. You don’t want the pitt to come her way and stomp her head, not knowing she exists down there. So yank, but also “Sorry sorry sorry sorry”. I’ve yet to have any women mad at me for doing it, they get it, but MAN it feels weird just grabbing a woman like that.

Pushing, shoving, looks like a massive fist fight but it’s all love. We’re trusting them with our life. They’re trusting us with theirs. We all get super violent, and have a good time. Then the show lets out, and we’re like “Oh, you wanna go get some late night eats? Anyone know a good gyro spot?”, and we’re just friendly for the rest of the day. We’re like the Canadians of music genres. Violent when we play, and friendly the rest of the time.

Vote for the politicians that work towards that.

Kind of like asking him to vote for a norwal. Sure, they exist, but they don’t even attempt to make any REAL progress towards closing the wealth gap.

And I’M STILL WAITING!!! I ordered this pizza in 1997! How long does it TAKE???

Downvoted because digiorno is owned by nestle…and nestle is evil.

As a Clevelander, who’s used some of those same talking points…are you making a padody of me? You following me around?

Am I the only one who says “Smoo”?

No no no. That’s not how being corrected on the internet works! You have to be wrong, AND be certain that you’re right! THEN someone can come along and say “Actually…”

Thats not true at all. On a previous android phone I had a voice recorder app. It could also record the screen.