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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 9th, 2023

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  • You’re correct that it’s not grammatically wrong, but a subtle semantic mis-match. Let’s bring in the difference between “every time” and “whenever”. While “when” and “every time” are interchangeable, “whenever” and “every time” are not. “Every time” is exact and without fail, while “whenever” implies unpredictability or indifference to the exact location.

    “When (strongly implied every time) I go to the theater (exact location), I get popcorn.”

    “Every time (explicitly) I go to the theater (exact location), I get popcorn.”

    “Whenever (unpredictable, indifferent) I go to the theater (exact location -mismatch with unpredictability) I get popcorn”

    Does that make sense?

















  • My parents chose each other. Are they good people? Sure. But they had a ton of problems and split when I was in high school.

    My grandmother, my dad’s mom, she was a terrible person. Very difficult to be around. I’m sure that’s why my dad has the issues he does. He ended up abandoning our family, and he’s very… Well, he’s passive-aggressive and will do almost anything to avoid conflict. Which doesn’t sound terrible, but that means he avoids us when he thinks we’ll confront him with anything. It was frustrating for a very long time but now I just accept that we’ll never have a close relationship because of it.

    He remarried about 10 years ago now. We get along okay except she’s an alcoholic and has a really awful temper. After a specific incident in which she screamed at me over something very minor, I decided I was done trying to foster a relationship with her and now it’s very at arms length. Oh well.

    My mom, she and I are close but her issues are very much wrapped up in my brother, who also has issues. They’re very co dependent, and my brother takes advantage of her. He sucks her dry of resources and refuses to do anything on his own. He’s in his late 30’s and it’s still going on.

    No, people who choose each other can be very toxic.