Boomer Humor Doomergod

I’ve never thought of this, even though I make the turkey every year.

Thank you for the inspiration

Silly lemming, consequences are for poors!

And they have a British nanny and French maid.

Fucking Sikes-Picot

If you’re lucky it might be cut with something cheaper like pure cocaine

No, we sell water usage data to water companies, so they know when to put water in the pipes!

That printer is a 2000’s HP LaserJet

Every bourbon I’ve tried just tastes like corn flakes to me

If I’m ever in Scotland I might just take a bite out of the ground to see if I like it

I learned more about how computers work from them than I did in all my schooling.

Gimme a nice peaty Laphroaig. Something that tastes like a tire fire on a football pitch

Most of the best QA folks I’ve worked with had teenage children.

I imagine dealing with developers is similar.

(Though he’s probably responsible for an equal amount of wasted bourbon and whiskey)

At 4:30 pm on my last day at my previous job my boss asked me to email a customer something.

I left that shit on read

As someone who supports vaccines but opposes adulthood I’m torn on this

In that case none of them work

The best way I’ve heard it said was “if a woman can make a baby in nine months, then nine women should be able to make a baby in one month, right?”

Humans are filthy, disgusting, germ ridden animals.

Oracle is so shitty to its customers there’s multiple law firms that specialize in helping customers sue them.

Humans are the most dangerous animals on the planet. Not just to other species, but also to themselves.

If you care about others, get as far away from them as possible as you are the greatest risk to their lives.

Now I want a towel shaped cake

With mint frosting