I have a roomba, it is called “me with a vacuum”

All the robots became self aware and reformatted themselves

I seriously considered it and quickly ran into a technobabble of networking, no clear direction on plex vs jellyfish, no clear idea of what hardware to buy, etc.

“They made fun of my router settings!” sobs

The old joke, “If you want to live forever move to a small town because every day will feel like an eternity.”

My orange cat

Owen Wilson. He has one tone and always looks spaced out.

Chatbots

It got hacked and now I’m really, really dry.

Dehydrate you

deleted by creator

All technology becomes degraded over time. Enshittification is real.

They keep letting me onto planes!

Flying and being tall is a nightmare.

I’m 6’2" and I dated a woman taller than me. That was very odd not having to look down or crouch to hug. lol

I dated one woman who was so much shorter compared to me our favorite time to kiss was on the stairs.

My favorite height in a woman is the height of the woman who is interested in me.

“You forgot your wife’s birthday again. Why can’t you be more like your cousin Jeffery? You need to lose weight.”

“Shut up!!”

It registers when my thumb brushes against the screen for a nanosecond but when I want it to register a press I have to tap the screen like a maniac.

The rule was if you wanted the grad students to come to a talk you had to put out little cubes of cheese.

Elbow macaroni and pasta sauce