Jung didn’t have much to say about self actualization I dont think. it was more Abraham Maslow and Carl Rogers. The term refers to what is possible after you’ve managed to take care of all your other needs, and what is left is to become the best most genuine expression of your possibilities you can be. Most people will never get their needs met and so actualization in its purest form will be elusive and fleeting.

What you’re seeing are her parents’ prejudices. You’re doing great.