About drinking- If you think you’re talking normal, you’re sluring. If you think you’re sluring, you’re not speaking human.
From a keyboardist in a band- have a good time, all the time
From Billy Idol - Too much is never enough (though I did have to unlearn this latter in life and get into treatment. Still, fun while it lasted)
Don’t write anything down you don’t want everyone to read.
Communication skills (aka bullshittery) I’m a finish carpenter and project manager so its my job to figure out what my boss thinks the client wants, what the client actually wants, what the fuck the architect is talking about, whatever the interior designer thinks they do, and translate it into usable language to get my carpenters to build it and make everyone think it was their idea that was the best.
Random thoughts in no order.
I started therapy way late in life. I wasn’t against bit in general, I just thought I was too stubborn and private to get anything out of it. Good for you starting earlier than I did.
It started out awkward but I realized this was up to me if i wanted to get any thing out of it. This person went through a lot of trouble to be in a position to help me and I could either just trust that, or I should stop wasting her time and my money.
I got lucky and found someone I could connect to on my first try. My wife had to go through a few till she got someone she felt good about. Don’t feel bad if you dont find a connection with the first few you go to. This is important enough to get right. Do a session or two till you find someone you can be open and honest with.
The one I ended up seeing for a few years was significantly younger than me but we had a couple of big things in common so it worked really well.
Its like seeing a doctor, be honest. They cant help you if you don’t tell them what’s wrong. Doctors and therapists you tell everything to, cops you say nothing to. Everyone else is a case by case thing.
I can only speak from my experience but sessions were just talking and having conversation about what was going on in my head and life. Sometimes she’d suggest a book or something, but mostly she’s ask a few questions and let me work out what was up. Like, she knew the questions to ask to get me thinking about untangling my knots. It wasn’t her making notes about my problems and giving me solutions. Though she did have a few exercises to suggest I do that helped as well.
Once I let my ego or whatever go and started being honest with her and myself, I started feeling better pretty quick. Thats not to say my problems were solved or I had shit figured out, just that I felt like I was actually doing something about it. And that felt good. Like there was a better way to do things if I put in the work to relearn some habits and understand why I did things one way instead of another.
Good luck with this.
Same here with Van. I thought he had something to say or there was something I could learn from him. But really he a just really into himself and thinks hes way more important than he could possibly be.
All of the Neistats. I got tricked into thinking they had something to say and/or teach. Nope, just a few guys up their own ass.
Yeah. I liked him a lot and watched him for a while but the creep alarm started beeping and red flags started going up. His takes on disasters were pretty good too. Shame he got weird.
I did. My parents were hippies and thought it was weird to call people anything other than their names. So they never tried to get me to call them anything but their names. At one point in maybe jr high I tried goingbwithbmom and dad but it didn’t take.
Thanks. Really, I got lucky with mentor types early on.
There was a dude in highschool in the theater group that did the tech stuff. Lights and sound, sets were another group. He was super rad. He taught us that figuring out how to do stuff was at least as fun as doing stuff. He also taught us a weird kind of loyalty. If we skipped class or whatever, we could come and work in the theater as long as we kept quiet about it and just worked. He wouldn’t lie or cover for us but if we were there to learn or do, mum was the word.
My roofing boss took me aside one day and asked why I was trying to work so fast. I told him everyone else was cruising. He said “I dont pay you to do it fast. I pay you to do it right. Speed will come later”. He also taught me it was crucial to know where the good lunch places were and to make the most of that break.
And between my dad and my uncle, I’ve learned that just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you’re a better person than someone, work ends at the end of the day, that if you’re being paid to do something it means you’re a professional and you should act like one, and to take pride in my work even if its for an asshole client.
I’ve worked for some shitty people too. They taught me that if I ever think I know it all, I should quit because thinking there’s no more to learn just means I’ve given up trying. They also taught me that hazing is stupid and the only thing that achieves is getting the new guy to piss in your thermos (thats right Dave, you fuck. that was me that fucked up your coffee. Think about that next time you tell someone to move a pile of lumber back and forth 3 times).
We used to build forts for fun. Then later, skate ramps. I realized I was pretty good at building shit so I got a job as a laborer. Then I got a job as a roofer on pretty nice houses. That turned into sort of helper/ apprentice thing. My dad and uncle had a construction/contracting company but I refused to work for them because I didn’t want to get a job because I was the owners kid. Later, my uncle blew out a knee or something and they asked me to come lend a hand for a bit. Turns out, they were really, really good and I stayed for about 20 years learning almost everything. Now I work as a project manager and finish carpenter on some pretty big, fancy houses.
Halloween rules. It doesn’t pretend to be about anything but fun. You dig hardcore horror? Its got you. You into pumpkin and candy corn aesthetic? Check. Sexy anything? You got it. Pink skeletons with discoball eyes? Fam, this is the holiday for you. There is no wrong way to celebrate. There’s no gate keeping here.
One thing I do is read 3 star reviews. Generally, five star reviews are bots/shills or just people trying to affirm a bad decision; One star reviews are people that had shipping problems or didn’t understand what they were buying. Three star reviews tend to be people that actually bought the thing, and are capable of rational thought.
In fairness, he may be the smartest of the bunch.
If I remember right, there’s one dude that “stayed behind” to keep it up and running.
Everything connected to your phone. In less than 50 years they’re gonna laugh about how we had apps for our washing machines and dishwashers.
There’s plenty of 4th wave going on right now. Plus RBF ain’t coning back, Aaron got weird. I’m pretty sure he went the way of Dicky Barrett.
Even if you only have 1 day left to live, why not live it happy and free? No one owes you anything and you owe no one anything. If you want to be free, do it. If nothing else, she would be free to choose her life as well.
And another way to put it, albeit very crass, Would you keep an appliance that only worked half the time because in 20 years you will be dead? Maybe you just don’t need it at all.
32oz wide mouth Nalgene for me. I have 3 and cycle them every 2 days. Dishwasher when I run it and bottle brush once a week. Never a hint of anything.
I took my wife out for pancakes today. We’re both crazy busy today but decided that a huge gut-busting lunch was a good idea. So while we were out fretting about how much we each still had to do and a little worried about whether or not we had time to even have gone out for lunch, I asked her if we could drive another 40-ish minutes out of the way to see if a game store had an Rpg book I’ve been looking for. She said no. She pointed out that I had just called and asked if they had it in stock and they said no, and that I had just done that in front of her literally 1 minute ago. I said that yeah, that may be true but maybe they were wrong.
From this I took away that my wife is definitely the adult in our relationship.
Still need my book though.
I helped win that.