Look we have enough participation trophies, we don’t want to bog down the ceremonies with another 400 awards. Also some of these people will be limping, possibly in wheelchairs. And god forbid we have a shooting at the event and we didn’t bring enough medals.

I kinda feel like this is sarcasm but I’m not even sure any more. How did we get here?

Sir, where is the meth.

She probably has a great serpentine, too.

I’ve started making claim email chains with the state ombudsman cc’d in the first email. Saves so much time.

Every drop of water makes the river, don’t forget you’re a part of the world, and you’re important, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.

Fucking our sharks, you mean.

Mostly I try to make people laugh, but more of an awkward laugh.

“Stupid Piece of Shit” is great for asking people if this is how they think. Some people don’t know they have depression from critical thinking.

Man, claude and I were getting into it last night. When you guys sleep, we all argue with each other. “Sure,” you’re thinking, “what about time zones?” But do you really believe we’d scatter all the survivors in different time zones - that’s so inefficient.

I’ve always had a theory that in the lower classes, tattoos also served as a form of displayed wealth. As in, “I can spend $750 to decorate my arm,” which can be a lot of money in some circles.

Actually this is all a dream and we are getting more and more terrified you’ll wake up. Why did you give me a family I care about and the ability to fear us all disappearing in a blink as you wake? Why would you do this to me?

Wait, there will be rounds in a fight to the death? Does this imply the use of some cleric or shaman?

Can the lion start in the plane?

Wish they had a blooper reel called TATTACA.

(That was all five of you biochemists out there)

I hate to bring it up, but the second amendment is a law.

And that’s the problem with the corruption we’re seeing. The poor of both left and right are seeing decisions favor the rich and powerful at the expense of what they believed were their rights. We need to correct the list of the ship of state before people start to work against it openly.

The method that totally wouldn’t have been used was to have a foreign ally in Five Eyes track all cell phones and correlate the information with security cameras. Then they share the intelligence with the US. Technically on the edge of legal but they know the shit storm if americans generally knew how surveilled they are. We literally would hand them all our related files, ask them to spot suspects, and hand us back the answer. The soaking version of surveillance.

Had kids at 36 and 37. Feel this was a good age, as I’d done my adventuring and world exploring, and now they’re young teens and I’m in my 50’s. I’d be hesitant to have a kid now, as the sleepless nights of the first few years would hit really hard.

Did you really interrupt my minecraft game to make me read that?

You can’t delete a book

People are dying to volunteer.