yes, i have several

edit: I’ll live with the hate and you will all have to live without my painful, cringe-worthy sex mistakes

edit: weeeelllll. just one. since you all insisted with your plethora of downvotes.

The first time I ever got laid…the first time someone very obviously wanted me to stick my dick into them…and by obvious I mean that she basically asked. That’s the level of engagement that I need. So, anyway, we head to her parents bed. I’m all nervous and shit since I really don’t really know what to do with my throbbing cock. I’d seen movies but I never had to perform in real life. So she was all like “come here and stick it in me you little bitch(this was 300 years ago so i might be paraphrasing” I’m just kidding. I can’t write a story that’s more than a few sentences.

Long story short: I bought a condom that was too small and it shot off my dick into her vergina and she never found it. I feel bad to this day

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gooses with bump causing diseases

Fungus amongst us is not necessarily a good thing

More fart and shit jokes. Very bonding stuff

What you said and also people who suck their fingers while or after eating something. I’m no murderer but sometimes it seems justifiable to me

Really? Cause I’ve seen several dogs just scarf down a steaming of shit at least 3 times. I’ve never seen a small dog chow down on a steaming pile of shit. So maybe it’s the medium sized dogs like a Labrador or an Irish Setter(the last one scarfed up shit like it was ice cream)

I get queasy very easily, almost to the point of vomiting, so dogs eating piles of shit is one of the reasons I don’t want to own one. I could never truly love a dog after seeing it scarf down a steaming pile of shit. I do like dogs that I haven’t seen eat a pile of shit though

Isn’t it just Bing with privacy? Or do they use their own tweeks or something? It’s what I use nowadays since google never finds anything i search for

explosive diarrhea

nice cock

Laziness has some obscure advantages

Think I’m going to stock up on gas and then sell door to door

Very sorry. I must have been in special kind of mood since I responded to you in that way

I gave it a try but I couldn’t listen. The talking part was crude and irritating which is not good for a podcast

I thought I read somewhere that True Detective was heading in the direction of exploring that idea at some point. Sooooo fucking much material for that these days.

Dwarf Fortress

It’s OK to be wrong

Eddie Vedder drinks his share of wine on stage but I’m not sure if he’s shitfaced. I think it would be hard to tell given his style of singing(i very much like his singing, not bashing him).

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