Paul Morphy, chess genius and sometimes described as best in the world in the mid-1800s:

“The ability to play chess is the sign of a gentleman. The ability to play chess well is the sign of a wasted life.”

I just subscribed to cocktails. Thanks for putting that together.

I still have a few reddit alts that I lurk with, at least until we get enough activity on Lemmy on those topics:

• Sports discussion, including specific leagues and teams
• Discussion about my specific local city (and maybe the other cities I frequently visit)
• Things relevant to my career/industry in law
• Economics and financial news
• Food and cooking
• Television shows and movies, including specific shows or narrow discussions
• Super specific hobbies and interests, not just the stuff I’m personally into, but also knowing that there’s a community around some other hobby so that there is lots of archived discussion where I can just click around and learn something new. For example, the most recent plane crashes in DC and Toronto, I went to the aviation community on Reddit to see what experienced professionals were saying about those things as the news broke.

Lemmy’s good on all the tech and science stuff I like, and most of the memes/humor that I’m looking for. It’s coming along on some mainstream interests, including the ones I’ve listed above, but still has a ways to go before the organic discussions reach the level of detail and expertise that reddit has. But it’s on the right track, and I’m optimistic about those things filling in over time.

Ok, that’s funny. I’d go on a date with you.

Her: So, you want anything to drink?

Wait are you hitting on them at their place of work, as a customer? Don’t fucking do that.

Maybe forget “techniques” and be real.

For many people, being playful, like on OP’s example, is being real. I’m a playful person. I have generally been a class clown my entire life, and I’d even say it’s a pretty core part of my personality and my identity.

I’ve been married over 10 years, with kids, and I still do this kind of stuff with my wife. I enjoy being silly with my kids, too.

And when I was dating I’d rely pretty heavily on humor for flirting throughout all stages, from meeting a stranger to setting up a first date to being on a date, to going on multiple dates. The other person’s laughter was an indicator of whether we were making a connection. And then, later on, I learned that I could expect my partner to be funny too, and actively make me laugh.

Being fun and flirty is a legitimate strategy for making sure you have the opportunity to connect with people. It is, in itself, attractive to some. And it might be unattractive to others, but it’s better to be attractive to some and unattractive to others than it is to be forgettable and unnoticed.

If they like you they do, if not who cares?

I think this is a pretty naive way of looking at relationships. Connections require some level of effort, especially in adult life. As much as we’d all love to just naturally have friendships, romantic partners, and other relationships just fall into our laps, that’s not really how that works. Most connections require a bit of work to find others, to find commonalities, to develop interest, to have some give and take of making a deeper connection, to have some vulnerability and growth and change as that stranger becomes an acquaintance and develops into someone close.

For younger people, especially under 30, looking for a partner isn’t just about looking for someone they like now. It’s also someone they want to grow with and experience things together with.

The pizza dough tastes better when allowed to rest and rise slowly in the fridge. Using a ton of store bought yeast for a quick rise is fine, but planning out the dough the night before is better.

I love Chinese food so much. I’ve visited twice, and always make room for food.

My favorite street food is probably sheng jian bao, the pan fried buns with soupy pork filling sealed in.

In terms of a single standalone dish, it’s hard to say. I like noodle dishes, like Taipei style beef noodle soup. Or Wuhan style re gan mian.

And for the type of meal where there’s a lot of dishes on the table to be shared, my favorite dish in that setting is probably Mapo tofu. I did a food tour of Chengdu once and just everything Sichuan is so good, but Mapo tofu is just all my favorite Sichuan things in a single dish.

I’ve lived all over the U.S., so here are some of my favorites:

Texas:

• Beef barbecue. The classic is beef brisket, but a lot of places have great beef rib, too.
• Tex Mex: fajitas hit the spot every time.
• Breakfast tacos, especially with leftover smoked brisket from the day before, or some other smoked meat like smoked sausage. Undeniably Texas, undeniably delicious.

Louisiana:

• Boiled crawfish, with red potatoes and corn and andouille sausage. Some people overcook their potatoes and corn, but even then there’s still a charm to it. But the whole experience of a crawfish boil is everything great about food culture: socializing around a big table, making a big mess, teaching kids and newbies how do engage in that task of peeling crawfish. The Vietnamese riffs on these traditions are also great, and Viet-Cajun is a great genre of food in general, too.

The American South in general:

• American Southern style fried chicken. It’s just great.
• Pecan pie. Easily my favorite American dessert.

Southern California:

• Burritos. Something about the fresh made flour tortillas in Southern California are just better than everywhere else in the U.S. So a good burrito provides flavor from the fillings, and also flavor from the wrap itself, in a way that all the parts just complement each other.
• Ensenada style fish tacos (yes, I know this originates south of the border but it is “local” to the general region). There’s just something refreshing about fish tacos with a crunchy cabbage slaw, fresh lime juice, a crema-based sauce, eaten outdoors. Can’t beat it.

New York:

• Bodega style breakfast sandwich. The basic concept is universal across the U.S. (egg, a breakfast meat like sausage or bacon, and cheese on some kind of roll, bun, or even bagel, griddled with generous amounts of butter), but something about the New York bodegas just make these taste better when you’re on the go.

Chicago:

• Deep dish pizza. Looks kinda dumb, but it’s delicious.
• Chicago style, “dragged through the garden” hot dogs. Every component makes this ensemble great.
• Italian beef sandwiches. I don’t know why these aren’t more popular outside of Chicago. Get it dipped, get a little messy with it.

In terms of popular and well known local dishes, the deep dish pizza and Chicago dog are great. I agree with you there.

The one that people outside of Chicago don’t know a lot about, that is still a delicious representation of the city, is Italian Beef.

And the one that is uniquely Chicago but isn’t going to be winning over people in a blind tasting, is shots of Malort.

All else being equal, in terms of structure and property itself, I’d rather live in a detached house.

But all else isn’t equal. I’ll sacrifice my ideal building type in order to live in the specific neighborhood I want to live in, within easy walking distance of amenities like parks, groceries, world class restaurants, bars, and things like that, all while being able to get around by bike, mass transit, or even easy/cheap hailed vehicles like taxis or Ubers. And that means I’m living in a dense urban area, where detached houses are rare and prohibitively expensive.

So I look for neighborhoods where I’d actually like to live, then look for places there with the right number of bedrooms and floor space, and then look to see what is within a feasible budget for myself. The first time I bought a home, I would’ve preferred to rent, but the building we liked in the neighborhood we liked happened to be condos rather than rentals.

But housing is a package deal. And house versus townhouse/rowhouse/brownstone versus low rise condo versus high rise condo versus apartment versus someone’s accessory dwelling unit is only part of that package. And the other parts are more important to me.

Roasted peanuts are cheap, high calorie, high protein, and shelf stable. It’s a decent mix of all the macronutrients (including carbs and fiber). Personally, I can also eat them all day.

Around me, a $3 jar has 2500 calories, over 200g fat, over 100g protein, and about 30g fiber. On a per dollar basis, it’s hard to beat for shelf stable food.

Isn’t that just what Lemmy shitposts is?

Lifestyle changes to where my weekend schedule looks like my weekday schedule, just with different activities.

I am at home and relaxing by 11pm. I am in bed by 12am. Then I wake up at 7:30am. That’s 7 and a half hours of sleep every night, at the same time every day, 7 days a week.

And that’s not just lifestyle changes around not going out as late on weekends. It’s also a lifestyle change where I started steering my career and work towards never needing to have any meetings or be at any specific place before 10am.

I’m not a morning person so I got a job where I don’t have to be a morning person. My whole routine on weekday mornings is designed to make it so that nobody at work can touch my morning until I’ve had a chance to settle into my day.

I think that’s true of all French fries everywhere. The deep frying technique fundamentally dehydrates the outside while leaving the inside with enough internal moisture to be soft or fluffy. That’s an unstable setup that will trend towards equilibrium, drying out the center and softening up the exterior.