At first I thought I could “take it or leave it” with kids. Then I married someone who was a firm “No,” but strung me along when I asked if we could adopt. Divorced now, and when I think about the idea of finding a woman to raise a family with… I’m inundated with fear and anxiety. This world is so fucked that I cry in my dreams at the thought of it. What will the world look like in my hypothetical child’s lifetime?

The supposed last bastion of freedom and democracy has fully descended into fascist oligarchy. We were supposed to stop climate change before we hit 1.5 degrees of warming, we hit that last year. Now they’re talking about what’s going to happen when we hit 3 degrees of warming. So every natural disaster is going to be far worse, and far more frequent. The fire in LA is still burning. A fire swallowed up so much, the next one may take the entire city. Scientists have been dreading the eruption of a super volcano for a while now, saying that it could cause a global ice age, gee I wonder if climate change is making that more or less likely?? (hint: it’s more.) Meanwhile NATO and the combination of russia/china/north korea/iran are preparing for the last war this world may ever see.

Not to mention that having a kid is like pooping out a ticket for half a million in debt. I already think about killing myself so often, could I really bear the thought of shackling myself to this soul sucking job for the rest of my life? Goodbye following my dreams, hello more debt.

So now I can’t even bring myself to date, because despite getting divorced over it (not really, but it was a part of it), I still can’t truly answer the question “Do I want kids?” Approaching 40 and time is running out. Gotta make up my mind, but in the meantime everything is getting worse.

I heard once that single life is like being the center of your life’s portrait, and once you have kids, you instead become the frame. But I already feel like I’ve lived my whole life within the frame, and want to try being the center of my own portrait for once.

Do they still call it a beer gut when you don’t drink? Shouldn’t they call it a pizza and fries gut or something?

by such a large degree it’s frightening. Waiting for the Bell riots to happen is taking forever

Eye, but not drinking feels like a loophole insofar that I’ve abstained for over 5 years and went from no money to having a down payment for a house saved up, all while improving my health by leaps and bounds. Can’t get a beer gut if you don’t drink 👌

My typing class wanted me to learn how to type with my hands spaced just right, using different fingers to reach each key. But by then I had already been using a computer and just kind of developed my own way of typing efficiently and quickly mostly just using my index fingers. They’d correct my hand position whenever they saw me type, but I was one of the faster typers in the class, so I’d use my own way for the tests and passed easily. I’ve tried to force myself to go back and type like they told me, but by now I’m just much more used to my own spurious method. 🤷‍♂️

Had a computer savvy friend watch me type once and he audibly went “what the fuck”

One time at Kroger the cashier lady refused to let me use the store card, so I had to sheepishly look back towards the line, and the woman behind me let me use hers. I gave that cashier such a look.

I mean, if you speak their language, then try to learn some jokes in their native tongue? Otherwise, yeah, a board game or something that has you all participate.

But also, from what you’ve described, they are a close-knit family that doesn’t get to spend time together very often. It sucks feeling excluded from that, but also understand it has much less to do with you, and much more to do with them enjoying each others company for what little time they have.

Instead of a game you suggest, maybe let them teach you a game of their own? them explaining it to you, and having you screw up will probably make them laugh, and making someone laugh will definitely ingratiate you to them.

just lie to them?

If you’re financially stable enough to actually throw hands with that one customer (who will show up in your life eventually), then yeah, I can understand that.

The idea of work friends is a real concern. It only ever works against you, I’ve found. Be friendly with everyone, but don’t become friends.