Ha! Some dumbass jumped in the tiger enclosure! Get mauled, nerd!

Learns context… Oh. Fuck… Damn.

I was going to comment something toxic to prove you wrong, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I hope you have a good day!

Chronic medical conditions that require medication.

Lemmy now is what Reddit used to be like in the early days. I hope the enshittification stays away!

Left of center in a job full of far right conservatives.

Yeah, I can agree to that. I’ve had both good & bad chicken pizzas, the good ones tend to use a marinade on the chicken once it’s cooked before baking, probably to prevent the dryness from overcooking.

I remember a story on Reddit of a grandmother that killed her granddaughter because she wouldn’t listen about an allergy.

A lot of things are “cooked” twice, I don’t think that’s a sin.

I can’t think of a meat on a pizza that isn’t cooked beforehand, the sauce gets cooked before it goes on the pizza, too. Technically if the cheese was made with pasteurized milk, that milk was cooked twice, too

Do you consider the chocolate chips in cookies as cooked twice?

The Bodyguard soundtrack is a top tier album on its own merit; the movie is okay.

I mean, a lot of names could be reused:

Buzz, Woody, Rex, Bullseye, Lotso, Mr. Pricklepants… I’m gonna stop now, I’m ruining my own childhood.

Posted this not too long ago, but new audience, sooooo…

Lady friend and I are going at it, she’s on the edge of the bed and I’m standing up. Had just finished warming her up with oral and getting to the main event. I began to slide backwards because bare feet & carpet don’t offer the best traction. She can feel me slipping and sits up to try and grab me at the same time I try to jump forward and we headbutt each other.

I collapsed on the floor, her back on the bed, both of us laughing and cussing. She starts to slide off the bed to join me on the floor, sticking her foot directly into my open mouth.

She happened to be extremely ticklish, and a surprise tongue between your toes was apparently too much stimulation for her. She screams, collapses on the floor while trying not to kick me in the face, and has what she later called “the most hilarious and embarrassing orgasm ever.”

I had switched into “protector mode” as she was falling, trying to catch her, keep from getting kicked in the face, and trying to protect my nuts from a falling body all at once, so it took me a second to figure out what was happening, but then I just started laughing all over again.

…at least one of us finished!

Also to OP, that clench from your story would have had other consequences around me… I had a girl go into a sneezing fit once and after a couple death grips I came like a hose.

Talk Bigfoot vs. talk politics?

🫈❤️🤣

I think you can find something better to scratch your head with…

Have to get there without getting insta-killed first…

The animated series is the source of one of my favorite quotes that no one understands:

“Read a BOOK!”

Tally-ho!!!

DIE, HERETIC!

Violence & Physical activity to the point of exhaustion.

Working a heavy bag or chopping firewood are great examples.