You’re right. I forgot completely what I learned in sex-ed:

A dildo, fresh from the factory line, is like a big, beautiful Kielbasa.

But what happens when multiple people get their lips around this mammoth hot dog? That’s right, it becomes chewed, shriveled, broken, and ugly. Like a meat raisin. Or a slim jim. Or one part of a twizzler.

A dildo with just two partners has already lost about 25% of its girth. Is that right, boys? Shouldn’t you be purchasing your best?

#dildo_monogamy

and not realize that “weird” is actually the root of their objection.

Dude, sooo often. It’s so common. I’m crying internally.

You can… boil it in front of them.

“You mayn’t” as well.