I tried it but the repetition of the word ruined it when I had it written out. I think it’s because it takes away the little “huh, oh, right” moment from the reader.

Oh Jeez. But, here is some gluten free cake I made just to cater to your specific headspace and to prevent too much overthinking which has been known to cause cancer in individuals in the state of California:

I wonder how many individuals across all genders, ages, cultural backgrounds, and career stages who happen to occupy positions of creative oversight, organizational leadership, artistic guidance, funeral arrangement management, photographic composition supervision, musical ensemble coordination, or administrative stewardship refer to it as a “director’s cut” when ethically portioning the plant-based or traditionally-sourced protein centerpiece at their chosen family’s consensual gathering that may or may not coincide with various cultural harvest celebrations, regardless of whether they personally identify with the role of food distribution facilitator.

Personally I think, the corn flour doesn’t work too well with the butter crumbs.

I don’t see anyone furiously angry.

Ugh, this is so tiring, but we are going to fight this one out. Fine then, substitute it by “bikeshedding”. It’s not the exact right meaning, I know, but it’s just the same energy as someone bringing a cake and that one person just NEEDS to point out that they can’t eat it because of gluten, and how dangerous gluten is and how ignorant it is to bake stuff using gluten and the bees for the honey, WHAT, THERE IS NO HONEY, THERE IS INDUSTRIAL SUGAR IN IT?

It’s all things we can talk about and maybe they are even valid and sorry, yes, next time I can use corn flour and see if that works, but I can’t lose the feeling that’s not what the purpose of that piping up was.

Yes, but you go ahead and construct a description of that scene where the word “director” and “cut” do not show up twice. The chuckle the reader hopefully has comes from completing the reverse construction they have to do. We can enhance their success rate by starting that reverse construction from a known common base, such as a well known cultural reference.

He hates when I tell dad jokes, but he loves telling them.

Such is the inherent duality of the dad-joke.

Check out Mom’s Dad Jokes on Instagram to see what I mean.

Seems to require an account, but anyway, I get the idea. Well, whatever works in your headspace is good, I guess, right?

Yes. I specifically engineered it to be easily digestable while eliciting at least 2 GPT (groans per teenager) if delivered over an average dinner table.

You are very welcome. Cherish the eye-rolling.

Shared pain is half the pain, thank you all for putting in the effort.

I think dad-jokes are by their nature unfortunately limited to the group I have described. Every other kind of person makes them, they’re just common bad jokes.

EDIT: …also I just went upstairs, threw some logs into the stove and stared at the flames for a good five minutes. What is it, that makes some people on feddit take something, strip away everything obviously core about it until some side aspect remains which they then get furiously angry about? Rest assured, I did not get up this morning and spent my morning cuppa devilishly plotting on how to enforce the patriarchy one more day. I do however love the awkward dynamics behind dad-jokes and imagining one requires the one setting I know them in which is one overconfident dad (who is accomplished at his job but refuses to accept, that doesn’t make him a master of everything), an arbitrary number of teenaged children and maybe a wife that loves the guy despite his attempts at humour. That’s where that thing thrives. If in your head it’s better to play the whole thing out with two deeply in love but very differently aged café owners who admire each other secretly across the street but dare not meet each other because, of course, dog person and cat person, you do that, however, I can’t quite get it to work for myself with that.

There’s even a 3D model of my house. In fact, there’s a 3D model plus raw point clouds of my entire state, they published it as open data. It’s pretty useful for planning PV installations e.g.

Looking around here houses have either been in the family for a long time, were built new or have been sold through word of mouth. Lots of those transfers never went through the hands of a real estate shark. I think the whole “building rows of same-ish houses and sell them online” is a rather American phenomenon.

Also it gives the morning coffee that lovely crunch.

There will most certainly be an after. Unfortunately, very likely not for a lot of us.

You could be more efficient and implement the memory of having watched it.

This - I’m in my forties, I have never suffered any of these conditions and I don’t think any of my friends have either. What do you guys do to your bodies over there?

I rinse the empty bottle and throw it over the shower wall into the bathroom. Later, when I’m dry, I wonder why the bottle is lying around and - tadaa, entry on the shopping list.

It’s the most interesting thing how overwhelming evidence will be ignored while the inner conviction will search for any confirmation of it’s bias with a microscope. No jury would be as hard on any offender as we are on ourselves.