So in that case, all disabled people should live in poverty because it’s not fair if only some do? If we can’t help everybody then nobody should be helped? I’m not sure that’s a great goal to achieve.

I’m not sure how you jumped to this. My point is that if more of the money went back into society in general, maybe all disabled people who could not work could get a more reasonable amount of money and care and live more comfortably, instead of the few who have a rich uncle.

I guess I just feel like the playing field should be a lot more even at the start. So if you have above whatever the threshold is when you die, all to taxes and all those into a pot sort of like social security, to go to every kid not just your kid. I don’t know what the line would be, and do know that in this world, rich people would still find some loophole to financially advantage their kids, I just find it immoral.

If the world worked so that everyone could leave a windfall then that would be a different world. In this world yes I think it’s bad, the results have been bad, and yeah I know that’s an unpopular stance.

I don’t think my mom owed me what she made with her life. It’s not mine, I didn’t earn it. I didn’t have to support her, she spent her money and not more. That’s fine.

The disabled cousin might not need the windfall if we didn’t let people hoard so much. I’m just not sure how it’s morally acceptable for those who have rich generous relatives to have a life so different from someone who doesn’t, though.

No, actually. I got tattoos way back when it was a shocking thing for a woman to do, am really so shocked myself that they became popular. Thought I might not like them when I was in my 30s/40s but knew I’d like them when I was old. But as it turns out, I liked having them straight through and still do.

Scars I do like too.

I think inheritance of money is bad. It seems to be some agreed upon good, you should leave money and assets to your children. But WTF? This drives inequality, generational wealth accumulates and so does generational poverty. I think the world would be better if it was more use it or lose it, and you couldn’t pass it on like that. Or not so much at least.

I agree with this wholeheartedly. A house is to live in. It’s a place to live, not a financial instrument. They are only inherently worth some amount that aligns with wages in a given location.

So, like my first house cost a year of the median wage in my city; it was a wreck, so let’s say two years of pay was the average house. I think my mom’s house was around that too, but now they are more like 5x the median pay, that makes no sense because they are the same thing - a place to live.

No. I don’t care about living long, but do care about feeling good, and figure I have a body and might as well take care of it. Not obsessive by a long shot but eat well, exercise, sleep. All that feels good.

Not much yet this time, but in the last crash half the 401k disappeared. It crawled back over time though. Not sure I have enough time for that to happen again.

Oh but it brings joy to my heart every time I breeze through security while they are going through my husband’s suitcase. Because he is conservative white guy but born in Pakistan so they always stop him. I am progressive as fuck, white enough for Florida, smile and am waved through.

Agree though - our airport is wonderful but security and customs is a slog.

Uneven numbers feel more alive and even numbers feel more settled.

Live vinegar is the one I like. But also - I’ve developed more tolerance for sour foods over time, your palate may adjust.

Try a “shrub” - use a little vinegar and some mashed berries and a little sugar to flavor cold water, sort of like making a lemonade but with vinegar and see if you like that; and also try a balsamic reduction.

I can’t imagine anyone likes straight up plain white vinegar on its own, and sometimes those vinaigrette dressings are way too sour, but vinegar can be such a good adjuster and flavoring.

Tampa International Airport

I give thanks every time we land at home. Our airport is really awesome. Good layout, beautiful, long security line usually but otherwise so good.

https://news.tampaairport.com/

I didn’t enjoy being a kid at all, but being an adult I do like, don’t mind working because they pay me.

“Everyone else got it” is a stretch.

It does sound like you are carrying a lot of trauma, I don’t want to minimize that, but if you are able bodied, can see and hear and move and think, you are ahead of a lot of people. If you live in a developed nation, you are ahead of a lot of people. I don’t think even a majority of kids get the idealized childhood you think they do.

If you have no kids or obligations - what I did was get a lot of roommates to get living cost low and yeah, did just work a minimal job and hang out for a few years before sort of getting more serious about work. Never did the career ladder thing but did get a good job and I can say with absolute honesty - it got better.

Well, my mind is in the gutter I guess. Yards, I like a balance. Wild in defined spaces; food garden without weeds; open yard is literally mowed weeds, not too short. Flower garden has some weeds. We get lots of bees and butterflies with this scheme.

(On the question I thought you were asking, slight preference for uncut)

I like cooking, and don’t use recipes. Drinks, too. I like creating foods and drinks that people love because it’s like a gift but they don’t have to keep it. I guess it’s a traditional art in a way but not always expressed artistically.

I can’t speak for all women, but looks for me are a yes/no binary, but a primary filter. So if a guy looks good enough, attractive to me, then I can be attracted to him if he’s attractive in other ways. But there’s no bonus for better than good enough, better looking doesn’t matter at all. It is quite important - nobody has ever moved out of the appearance “no” bucket into the “yes”. But there is no 1-10 scaling, no consideration beyond the yes/no, I’m never going to be more attracted to a man just because he’s gorgeous.

I am certainly not in your target demographic, and personally yeah it would be a turnoff but it would be really stupid for you to try to change and be unhappy - you don’t need everyone to appreciate you in a romantic way, you only need a few admirers, right?

Looking at the people my kids date (more likely your age) they don’t seem to have the preference for “manly men”, none of them. They like guys who are not afraid to be soft, not afraid to wear nail polish or look ‘girly’ or whatever, they seem to find guys who do the Masculine thing actively off-putting. So you are in a good cultural moment I’d say. I think you will do fine being yourself, also never think it’s a weakness to be gentle and caring. Most people want to be taken care of to some extent, just make sure this isn’t a one-way thing, you take care of them too.

I don’t mean letting them keep harming you - I mean when do you think it’s worth keeping the hate inside you, the unforgiveness. It doesn’t do anything to harm the offender, it’s only harmful to the victim.

So when is it worth holding on to that at your own expense? It’s a good question.

I guess we just disagree then. I literally don’t think it’s misbehaviour or anything to police like that. You want to put some sort of barrier up, but for what? So they will only do it at the girlfriend’s house? What does that accomplish? OP is not proposing to “provide turn down service, mints, and send them up to bed after dinner” just okaying a sleepover.

I do disagree because the drinking age where I am is 21, and drinking and driving is dangerous. So that would be asking if they can engage in illegal and potentially deadly activities. My kids will tell me if their friends drink at a party but they don’t, and they have all been comfortable with that too. But yes I like that they can tell me and ask for advice.

Sex, I very much prefer they have a safe space, I will leave and give them privacy, they are not doing anything wrong or illegal at all. I don’t actually think i’s a bad idea, it’s a natural part of a romantic relationship, and the kid is 17. And don’t understand your view that it’s safer for them to hide it from you? I hear the stories my kids tell about other kids and remember growing up in a household like that.

I’ve raised a lot of kids through teen years and YES absolutely. Him being able to casually tell you this is an affirmation of your success as a parent. He doesn’t feel like you are going to freak out. Talk with him about safe sex and enthusiastic consent, about how no birth control is 100% safe, make sure he’s not ignorant. Congratulations, parent, you have raised a reasonable person.

I’d invite her over often if it keeps his room clean!