Ok so I cheated on my boyfriend, it was sporadic here and there it was largely due to my xan addiction but I have kicked that and been cali sober for a few years. Speaking of Cali, my boyfriend inherited a house in the San Jose Valley, it’s a nice house pool 3 stories counting basement it cost like a lot even though in Ohio it would be 300k max.

So we are getting back together I remember how much I love him and miss him the past 9 months without him and he is missing me to. I have a ton of stuff planned but what do you suggest in terms of things to do and mindset to have ?

  • CocaineShrimp@lemm.eeEnglish
    37·
    2 days ago

    Being honest - it doesn’t sound like you love him, but rather want to stay in his nice house.

    Regardless of if you love him or not, that trust that’s needed for a stable, long-term relationship has been obliterated. Every single thing you do will be questioned, outloud or at least subconsciously. That is not going to be good for a healthy relationship.

    I’d suggest that if you want to be in a happy and healthy relationship, it’s probably a good idea to move on from this one. Take time to reflect and ask yourself why you cheated on this guy - obviously you were unhappy enough to seek someone else, but what made you unhappy in the first place? It could be something about them, but it could be something about yourself too - in which case, you might want to talk to a therapist

    If you did want to get back with your ex, I’d suggest giving him space and letting him decide if he wants to come back to the table, and when he wants to. If you seriously like him, don’t see anyone else until he decides what he wants to do; but put a time limit on it for your own sanity. Then, after the time is up, give up on the relationship and move on. Tell a friend of yours about your plan so they can help keep you accountable in case you may not be in the right frame of mind

    • IloveyouMF@lemmy.worldOP
      112·
      2 days ago

      I do love him and we had technically gotten back together before he inherited

      Second me and him have worked out an agreement he gets 25% of my onlyfans revenue a month and it’s just my rent. This was a big issue for both of us because I do see why he does’t find it fair and I did do it while we were together without telling him.

      At first I was bummed about the rent but now I have accepted it. I like the idea of pulling my weight he had ore stable employment then me so he helped me a lot even for rehab so I owe it t him. Also his best friend wanted to stay with him and offered him 2k a month I make a bout 5k a month so it’s less but still. The way I see it I get cheaper rent then like anywhere else in the San Fernando Valley and it goes to my boyfriend not some greedy landlord.

      Also we don’t want to break up. I have been through so much with him and he has done so much for me. He likewise knows that dating is hard especially where we live it’s not like he has girls sliding into his dms to replace me.

      He has gifted me the gift of reconciliation and I will not take it for granted I have so much to give