I don’t even know where to start.
I have known them for over 10 years, it always been very clear to me they are neurodivergent, I’ve known that from day one.
A few months ago they were given a formal diagnosis of autism. I can completely see it, I can completely understand the diagnosis, and I think it is in perfect alignment with many of this person’s characteristics.
I really do not know what the hell is going on in their mind, if the diagnosis has triggered some deep feelings or…
But the problem is this… Ever since they got the diagnosis, they have started to mimic the behaviors that are often seen in people with Down’s Syndrome. She has started to mimic the speech patterns, and tries to crunch her face and squint.
It’s just annoying as fuck. They are purposefully acting like somebody they are not. I am becoming absolutely exhausted with this behavior, especially because they have not changed as a person, they are the exact same person as prior to the diagnosis, they’ve just started acting like an idiot. (E: and I’m also getting SICK of her besmirching people with Downs by ACTING like she has the IQ of a cat)
I am at the point where I don’t want to be around them anymore, but before I limit my contact, what are some compassionate ways I can have a conversation with this person?
You are their close friend, and your friend is going through a very tough time in their young life, as much of a core experience as a person can have, and they need love and guidance, not abandonment. Modeling that on both sides would be detrimental for life.
Talk to your friend, feel their feelings, and help them in their next steps. Perhaps that’s already happening with her family. They’ve certainly noticed this odd behavior, too. As her friend, perhaps you should meet them, and help support whatever strategy they are following, or if there even is a strategy. They may be overwhelmed, too, and may welcome your assistance.
Or maybe not. Be prepared for that, too.
Be her friend, don’t quit on her, and someday, she won’t quit on you.