I don’t even know where to start.
I have known them for over 10 years, it always been very clear to me they are neurodivergent, I’ve known that from day one.
A few months ago they were given a formal diagnosis of autism. I can completely see it, I can completely understand the diagnosis, and I think it is in perfect alignment with many of this person’s characteristics.
I really do not know what the hell is going on in their mind, if the diagnosis has triggered some deep feelings or…
But the problem is this… Ever since they got the diagnosis, they have started to mimic the behaviors that are often seen in people with Down’s Syndrome. She has started to mimic the speech patterns, and tries to crunch her face and squint.
It’s just annoying as fuck. They are purposefully acting like somebody they are not. I am becoming absolutely exhausted with this behavior, especially because they have not changed as a person, they are the exact same person as prior to the diagnosis, they’ve just started acting like an idiot. (E: and I’m also getting SICK of her besmirching people with Downs by ACTING like she has the IQ of a cat)
I am at the point where I don’t want to be around them anymore, but before I limit my contact, what are some compassionate ways I can have a conversation with this person?
Man, as an Autistic person who has, how can I put this diplomatically, been perceived as having DS by those who are unaware? (I have a big head and the tendency to mumble and indulge in Echolalia) This is a whole ass vibe
In my experience there’s not much to be done, you can’t talk them out of these displayed behaviors cognitively if they didn’t come across these behaviors cognitively eg
*were they evaluated for DS in the past?
I had a fellow autistic schoolmate who was evaluated for schizophrenia before they were diagnosed as autistic, so they tended to interpret things in that lens, like if someone is having a meltdown, to an outsider does it present that much different if they’re have an overwhelming sensory moment, ‘hearing a voice’ or say, having a seizure?
*have they socially interacted with someone with DS?
I’ve seen it been super common for autistic peers to pick up ticks/phrases from others without even realizing it, even if the interaction was years ago
And probably the last step would be exposure, if there is a person with DS in your social setting who would be negatively effected by your friends actions, could you talk with their family/any supporting people that have about introducing your friend to them?
And if not, then their actions seem to mainly be stressing you, and maybe you should decide if your friendship with them is benefiting you both equally and should continue
Not to dump this in your lap or say that you have to be the one to do something or change, but in my experience you’re going to have more luck engineering a situation where they figure it out themselves, than changing their mind with an argument
Yeah, they’ve had the full battery of tests, and presenting ASD symptoms for the most part.
I don’t necessarily want to bend them into changing, part of it will be me adapting to their New freedom to live closer to who they are without masking. But they’ve gone bonkers over the top exaggerating and I need to talk to them somehow.