No pharmaceutical aids preferably
Late to the party, have a very good suggestion.
Some very very short back story. In my younger years I had a lot of issues with anxiety when going to bed. Thinking about things I needed to fix or what tommorow would bring. And I realised that imagining a story or a world and setting specific foundational points, like a framework that a story as an example could be worked from. Then each night building something additional on that framework every night in my mind, keeping the core fixed and every new addition as part of this world or story. I would eventually get less and less added and become relaxed and fall a sleep sooner and sooner.
Just like a child wanting the same story every night.
Going back to something known and adding just a little bit och playing with an idea within the set framework is soothing for the mind. Because it familiar.
You can try fantasizing, which I was told primes the brain to dream, though I don’t know how supported that is. The big thing is to not stress about not being ‘asleep’ too much. You need 8 hours of contiguous rest but it doesn’t all have to be deep sleep. You can lay in the dark for an hour with your eyes closed and it will be better than not. Stressing about being awake is worse than not resting at all.
When I can’t sleep I play the “alphabet game” in my head: I pick a random subject. Can be anything really, doesn’t have to be something I am an expert in. The other night it was “things associated with either the Commodore 64 or the Amiga”. Then I think about a fitting thing for each letter of the alphabet, from A to Z.
Sounds weird, but it works for me 99% of the time. I actually made it to Z without falling asleep only once in my whole life. In that case you can still pick a new subject and start again at A.
Keeps your head occupied in a good way.
I could see that working. I used to do the old trick of counting sheep. I imagine each sheep running then jumping a fence. Probably never made it very far past 20.
It really depends what the root cause of your wakefulness is. Like, if it’s chemical, i.e. you had too much coffee etc - you’re probably stuck.
But if it’s because of stress you can probably do some things to get relaxed.
My major tip is, NEVER look at the time. It’ll stress you out. And small periods of sleep are far more restful than you worry they will be.
I close my eyes and do the “four corners”technique or whatever it’s called. inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, repeat. It eventually lowers your heart rate, increases CO2 in the blood and clears your thoughts. It’s much easier to sleep after doing that for like 20 mins.
I read for an hour in bed every night. That gets me very tired and sleepy. People are just in front of screens all damn day and don’t know how to turn off.
If I wake up and can’t fall back asleep, I keep melatonin next to me. If I really want to sleep well I’ll take 10mg edible ~1 hour before bed.
That’s the neat thing, you don’t.
I’ve been doing it right all along!
First, no smartphone in your bedroom EVER. No alcohol before bedtime. Read a book with little action (Jane Austin, Jules Verne, old books do wonders …). Then turn out the light. Find a comfortable position, find the muscles that are tense and relax them. Don’t move anymore. Then count up 1,2,3,4,5… when thoughts pop into you head, start from 0 again.
People say this about smartphones and maybe it’s true for many people, but for me I have fallen asleep while reading or scrolling countless times. It usually feels like the phone helps me wind down and get sleepier.
Meditation, masturbation and moderation. The last one is the most important, a well habituated bedtime will help you sleep better.
If my mind is racing, I will get up and just write about it until it stops racing. Usually that’s when I’ve made some kind of plan to address what my mind so busy processing.
If I just can’t sleep for some unexplained reason, I will get up, bring my duvet to the living room and read comics for a while.
Other than that, I try not to eat too late, and I will usually read in bed. Back when I had my Fitbit it said I averaged about 7h30m sleep a night. I also have a daylight lamp that I use in the morning during the dark half of the year.
(Caveat: I’m currently on medication that helps with getting off to sleep, and might also be helping me with anxiety/depression, but it’s really hard to gauge that side of it. Anyway, sometimes I try these if the effects are wearing off in a morning and my mind starts spinning, and used to use them before being on the medication at night too.)
Breathing exercises sometimes work. The old deep breath, hold for a little too long and then let it go in a measured manner. Two or three cycles and then relaxing / applying some or all of the following might work.
Other times, telling myself that what I’m thinking about can wait until morning / later, basically trying to trigger “save and quit” in my brain. I got quite good at that before the change of medication.
Another weird trick is to convince myself that the room is the other way up and if I don’t relax and sink into the sheets and mattress that I’ll fall away from the bed onto the ceiling. I know this doesn’t make any kind of sense. File it under “so stupid it works (sometimes)”.
Practically speaking, try not to be too warm or too cold. A surefire way for me to not fall asleep is to have cold feet. I might not even realise that my feet are cold until I think about it. An electric (under-)blanket that warms both body and feet has proven invaluable, as did the hot water bottle that preceded it.
Finally, if none of these work, get up and do something to distract yourself for a while. Plan to get back in bed 10-15 minutes before a multiple of 90 minutes before the time you’ve set your alarm. Hopefully, you’ll be tired enough to sleep before 105 minutes (15+90) to go, because that’s basically the last chance for meaningful rest. Anything less is a short nap and you’ll probably be groggy when you wake up.
The next advice you need to seek is how to wake up when you’re tired and/or groggy.
A podcast that is interesting enough for me to not get bored out of my mind, but not too interesting; I want to be able to let my thoughts wander a bit.
An audio book also works, but it can be problematic in the sense that you often f8nd yourself rewinding if/when you lose track. It still works, but it takes a bit lower.
When I can’t fall asleep it’s usually because my mind is racing and worrying about things so I just put on a podcast that’s only mildly interesting enough to distract me but not get me fully engaged.
As some others said get one of those “soft storm” or “sea sound” 10 hour tracks (whatever you prefer) and put it.
Then go to the bed, take a warm shower before if you want, and then start reading this book
I’ll give you 10 minutes maximum, bonus points if English is not your primary language
Melatonin - it exists in your body naturally, so I wouldn’t really consider it a pharmaceutical aid. 5mg usually does the trick for me.
Also, tension tamer tea. It comes in a box with a dragon on the side (hell yeah). One cup will put me right to sleep.
