I grew up in a rough household. We had holes punched into the walls, doors torn off the frames, my siblings and I saw regular abuse, and as a kid I constantly felt like I had to do things to keep the family held together.
I felt like I was treated by my parents as a servant. They constantly threw away anything I remotely liked, and continued stacking chores on me, especially those that weren’t my own mess. They gave me the boot shortly before graduation, and long story short, I finally got a place for myself after years of effort.
I just can’t shake this feeling though that things are painfully unfair. Like you escape hell after all these years, and the first thing expected from you is to find a job. I get it, you need to work to make money and pay the rent and bills but… why me? Why after all this time of putting up with the crap you have instead of being a kid are you just expected to step in line like everyone else when you never got that opportunity to find who you are and simply enjoy life for what it is.
I don’t know, is this lazy? It’s not that I don’t want to work, but why can’t I be a kid? Why can’t I have some time to reclaim what all was taken from me and have some time to enjoy myself rather than grasp at random short memories I had before I was 5? Everyone else got it, why not me?
I don’t know, am I just rambling about nothing?
Freedom comes at a cost, what you want is for other people to shoulder the burden and take care of you and that’s not an option beyond a certain age, and having someone do that for you also comes at a cost.
Your basic needs will be met either in the military or in prison, but that’s not freedom.
You can get a job and pay for your basic needs on your own, which while also not freedom, is still better than the military or prison. :)
You can enroll in college and have food/shelter taken care of, but if you don’t have a job to pay for it, you’ll bury yourself in debt, paying for your freedom now, with debt chains later.