Best: My aunt’s wedding. Super quick ceremony. I and my cousins were all in the 6-11 year old age range. She had a piñata for us at the reception. We devoured candy and danced and ran around like maniacs, it was glorious.

Worst: Years later, one of those same cousins mentioned above gets married. In July. In Massachusetts. Outside. The heat and humidity were unbearable. And they KNEW the weather was gonna be shit, because the wedding program they handed out to everyone before the ceremony began was shaped like a fucking fan. THEY KNEW.

The ceremony finally ends and the catering staff makes everyone wait outside the dining hall in the heat for unknown reasons for another full hour. When we’re finally let in, the AC is struggling to keep up and it’s hot as hell in there, too. When the dinner is served, it is NOT the vegetarian lasagna I chose on the wedding invite, no, it’s a portabella mushroom burger. I hate mushrooms, I would have never chosen such a thing. They switched the menu out and didn’t tell anyone. Also, no open bar, wtf.

  • schmorp@slrpnk.netEnglish
    101·
    6 hours ago

    I was forced by my idiot ex husband to go to a wedding of family I didn’t even know while one of our horses was at home dying of colic. Spent the day crying, was stared at disapprovingly by strangers and ended up eating some pink dessert with surprise salmonella. Returned home to a dead horse and three days throwing up with diarrhea.

    I hate weddings and only have been to two including my own, so that would leave my own as the best one, getting married to the above mentioned idiot. Just us, our kid and my parents at the civil registry, then burger king. Fuck weddings, for real. Best day of my life my arse - I’ve always thought how awful that sounds because it means it only gets worse from there (and it did).

    I could still mention a third wedding I refused to go to because idiot husband was too drunk to drive us there safely. Had to flee with the kid and hide at a friend’s place for a week to escape his rage (shouldn’t have returned, but was talked into going back by that ‘friend’ and the idiot).

    Weddings trigger the shit out of me to the point where I make sure to not have friends who’d ever consider having a wedding and inviting me to it. I’m now proudly non-monogamous and happy among people who don’t have to make a big expensive thing around pretending they want to be together forever.