I’m a momma and I was planning on driving my son down to the beach with some family/friends. I haven’t worn a bikini since my younger days since I’m super busy nowadays as a single mom working 2 jobs. As I was trying on some of my older bikinis, I couldn’t help but wonder how my younger self was confident enough to be this exposed. I’m not insecure about my body or anything, actually I’m pretty confident since I go to the gym often, so genuinely how do other women have the confidence to rock a bikini?
cognitive dissonance
It does feel like going out in underwear, to a place where everyone is in underwear, and the people wearing full clothing look out of place. I don’t even have a perfect body but grew up near the beach, saw every possible body type in swimwear. So I am comfortable enough looking near naked in public, since everyone is. It’s nice.
The same way that pigs are food and dogs are not. Cognitive dissonance.
I can’t speak from a women’s perspective, but wearing swimming trunks in public feels very different than wearing boxer shorts in public.
Honestly I can’t feel the difference between swimming shorts and normal shorts, maybe except those nets inside
Boxers reveal a bulge and that is a no-no
This is especially the case if you don’t wear underwear with your short
I can’t contribute much except that I’ve asked myself this question many times. I guess some underwear is see-through but other than that it’s kind of the same attire.
People are right in saying it’s context and consent, and it’s not completely gendered. Men’s swimsuits are basically just boxer shorts. Normally I’m not self-conscious about that, but a few months ago I signed up for a toddler swimming class with my son where I wound up being the only Dad, and suddenly I felt a bit exposed. I think the normalcy of walking around in nothing but a small pair of shorts kinda evaporated once I was the only man in the room.
Yeah, and if you get out of the water and have a “flattering” outline in your shorts, its suddenly becomes a much larger issue being the only adult male, and with children around… eesh.
Well, I wasn’t even thinking about that, but now I’ve got a whole new thing to be self-conscious about.
Don’t be self conscious, be self aware .
If your wedding tackle has shifted at all during your swim, may be try to get out away from the others a bit, not a creepy amount, but like… Be on one end of the group, turn away slightly when transitioning from water to land, place your hands “casually” in a way to cover yourself without drawing attention, all sorts of little tricks you’ll internalize before you know it, but it starts with being self aware.
Speedo under the trunks should help I would think.
It’s not just Bikinis. It’s all swim wear, saunas in Europe, baths in Japan. It’s just socially acceptable and expected in the right context, and that expectation plays a huge role in comfort. The context seems to flip a switch in people’s brain.
I’ve never in my life been comfortable with anyone seeing me on a bikini, no matter how good I feel about my body. The “difference” between that and underwear or virtual nudity never permeated my brain 😂
Basically I think it’s weird that they’re treated so culturally different and don’t feel comfortable in them myself, but also support the choice of whatever bathing suits people prefer or nudity in designated areas
social conditioning
Do what makes you comfortable.
You’ll be out with family and friends, in an environment where most any swimsuit would be expected. Any lack of confidence would come from your own internal comfort, so you do you.
As a more practical suggestion if you’re on the fence, wear a wrap? Then you can decide how you feel in the moment.
Something about feeling like a mom I guess? Idk I don’t have kids! xD For me, rocking a bikini = feeling confident about my body. I used to wear smaller bikinis when I was younger but now I find swim shorts much more comfortable, practical, carefree. Why are us women wearing small tight swim clothes anyway, that you gotta adjust, fuss with the strings, prevent the nip slip, etc. Meanwhile men wear comfy shorts? Well it helps that I’m not at that stage in my life where I’m looking to date or impress anyone lol.
I will say that if I were diligent about going to the gym and had a rockin bod, then yes. I’d probably wear that bikini to show off my hard work😉💪🏼
I wouldnt go out with my underwear in the garden.
But going with my bath shorts is totally fair game to my mind.I would even hesitate dipping into the beach with my underwear even if it was with my mother/father.
It’s somehow weird to me. Even if it’s totally irrational.People here saying consent (fair enough) but let me tell you, clothes are suggestive. There is more to suggestion and context than the actual content. Is anybody shocked to see a nude statue in a museum or something? Or in a painting? Now how about somebody wearing nothing but a g-string and a harness? You can argue the harnessed person in a gstring is less exposed than any nude. I say no. Clothing adds to the exposure sometimes. Underwear isn’t meant to be seen, so when it’s seen, it prompts judgement.
Is anybody shocked to see a nude statue in a museum or something?
Sadly, some are. I remember as a teen visiting my aunt and uncle who had a giant Catholic family. We were sitting around watching one of the Pink Panther movies, where the main character is in a museum at night. As he scans his flashlight across the room, it passes over some nude Greek statues. My aunt took the remote and switched the channel, saying “We don’t need to watch this smut.”
There was an old Piers Anthony series about a society where the masses, mostly slaves, went naked and only the owner class could wear clothes. The more clothes, the sexier.
I go to a nudist resort fairly frequently. Most of it is clothing optional except for the pools, so you see people walking around in various states of undress depending on the weather and what they’re doing (watched a guy weedwacking naked last time I was there, seemed ill-advised IMO)
You pretty quickly stop seeing nudity as being sexy there . It certainly doesn’t help that the average nudist is middle aged or older and often not in the best shape.
This resort also attracts a decent amount of swingers. While the nudists aren’t particularly trying to impress anyone, that’s pretty much the whole reason the swingers are there. So how do you make yourself look sexier than just walking around naked? You wear something. Bathing suits, pasties, big flashy jewelry, crazy hats, see-through dresses, ropes, etc.
And though many of them aren’t much more attractive than the nudists, they turn some heads.
Hell no I won’t use a weed whacker without jeans, and boots are preferable. Had one kick a pebble though my car window.
watched a guy weedwacking naked last time I was there
In case you were wondering, this is a weedwacker
I shall choose to go with my initial interpretation of the term.
To summarize your statement, social conditioning
See also: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheissTitillationTheory : “The sexiness of an outfit is directly proportional to the perceived possibility that a vital piece of it might fall off.”
Exactly. I see a bikini every time I see people swimming. Underwear though, that implies some form of intimacy
You get used to it, especially when nobody cares. Walking into a corner shop in nothing but shorts is pretty Sus in a city in winter, but if it’s a hot summer day and the corner shop is near the beach, it’s fine.
Yep. Nobody cares. Having been to nude beaches, nobody really cares.
The small fraction of people who do judge are reflecting their own insecurities.
There’s a restaurant at the end of the pier where I grew up that always has a sign that says “no shirt, no shoes, no problem”
We are on vacation right now and my SO actually wears only the bottom of the bikini and goes bra less to the beach, because she says it’s unfair I can free my nipples and she can not. Well that’s pretty fair I would say?
We are European though and probably a bit less prude than US Americans.and my SO actually wears only the bottom of the bikini and goes bra less to the beach
There actually is a drawing challenge (called MensSwimsuitChallenge) that tries to depict this.
example:
my SO actually wears only the bottom of the bikini and goes bra less to the beach, because she says it’s unfair I can free my nipples and she can not
Doesn’t sound like she can’t.
Society and shit. I say boobs should be free.
If boobs had guns like in Austin Power, our heads would explode trying to figure out if we cared about the 2nd amendment more or being prudes.
Well considering I’m going to be around my son and other family members that’s not really possible lmao.
You should reflect back on that “less prude than Americans” part of his statement. It’s only “not really possible” because of widespread American taboos about nudity. If boobs were visible in everyday life - on TV shows and at a typical day to the beach - in a non-sexual way, your son wouldn’t give a crap.
It’s interesting that in many US cities, there’s no law against women going topless, but if a woman does it, it’s outrageous. Hell, some women get chastised for breastfeeding in public. We’re a messed up society.
Social conditioning, once again. We’re French, and it’s totally possible for us.
Yesterday, among strangers, at the local lake, my 42 year old friend was topless, playing with her 7 year old son and her 5 year old (naked) step-daughter. A 36 yo pregnant friend was wearing a string bikini around her husband, 6 yo daughter, and in-laws. It was a non-issue.
Not saying all rules can always be broken, but they’re heavily context- and culture-dependant.To be fair, if your son cares it’s only because you/society taught him to care.
Why? Does your son not understand human anatomy or is he afraid of boobs?
We all grew up seeing our moms boobs at some point.
Yes comrade, we all grew up seeing your mom’s boobs. 🫡
Ol’ Pancho and Lefty
My mom raised us to be comfortable with our bodies, so we wouldn’t even have the door closed when we were bathing.
