How do you manage to keep working on a project once the “honeymoon phase” wears off?
Have you found anything that works for you, when finishing a project takes longer than the initial motivation rush will take you?
Not quite what you’re asking, but I’ve learned that an important thing for personal projects is not to tell anyone about them until they’re basically done.
For me, getting to explain the thing and talk about why I’m doing it is a big part of what keeps me excited. If I tell someone about a project too early, my dumb monkey brain says ‘ok, good chemicals dispensed! That project is now dead to me’, and I lose all motivation to actually finish it.
Knowing I’m doing something cool and no one knows yet actually helps keep me going.
Beyond that? Having a clear plan, with concrete goals that define what ‘finished’ looks like, and clear concrete steps that will get me to that point. Literally a checklist. That way, continuing the work just means working from that list, rather than stressing over what to do next and getting bogged down in tangents and distractions.
Start with big tasks that feed into your project goals (‘add feature x’), and then gradually break them down into smaller individual tasks that can be completed in a single session of work. You don’t have to break the entire project down at once; I start each day by saying ‘what meaningful progress can I achieve today?’ and go from there.
This works for me too.
But, there is one exception that worked even better. Find someone who doesn’t struggle with maintaining his momentum and motivation, and work on the project with him. At least for me, not wanting to dissapoint and force myself to keep up with my roommate, who was kind of a workoholic and with whom we worked on a game, is what forced me to keep on working on it for 6 years, before we finally released it.
I would’ve given up after a year, once we handed it in as our semester work, but his team management that he managed to keep up for 5 more years is what made me keep on working.
So, yeah. Either don’t tell anyone, or be the second follower for someone is what works for me.
But, discipline is also what works wonders. When I was at college and used to regularly having to work on schoolwork/my own projects, I didn’t struggle aa much with starting or doing anything.
Once I fell out of this rythm and procrastrinated for few years, it’s now super hard to do anything.
Try to force yourself to work on it regularly, even if it’s just “every two days, work for an hour, without exceptions”. After few months of this, it will become way more easier, once it’s a habit.
It’s actually a known phenomenon. Talking about your goals gives a similar dopamine hit to actually completing the goal, so your brain has less motivation since it already got high.
I thought that did it for me, but whenever I talked to ppl was when I was breaking my routine and not doing work that day, and then I wouldnt get back into my routine id swap to the new one established that day
Bold of you to assume I do keep working on it. Very bold, indeed!
This is why I limit my projects to things that can be completed in a matter of days. My AuDHD brain just won’t let me continue the same thing for weeks on-end (unless it’s a hyperfocus.)
This is why I like to crochet scarves - I never wear them, but I can get one done in a week and give it away as a handmade gift to someone who would actually wear it. The few times I’ve attempted a larger project, like a blanket, I’ve lost steam and just stopped. So back to scarves I go.
Incremental goals. Going at something expecting you to maintain the same level of hype is going to end in unfinished projects or burnout as you force yourself to keep going.
I found this works for me.
Give yourself some dopamine by breaking the goals into manageable chunks.
“Today I’m going to fix that annoying bug” translates to a good feeling when you push a commit with the bug fixed.
At the same time, you’ve committed yourself a tiny bit more to the project, is now harder to ditch.
I chunk it, don’t think of it a a project just an ongoing work.
So for example we are renovating the half bathroom but it is necessarily a slow project. I need to:
Clear the closet space we are opening up, which required:
2 outdoor storage units (one done one pending)
Relocating the indoor stuff to other spaces (done)
Painting (also done in steps, there are a bunch of splotches painted on one wall from testing colors - chose now but need to buy the gallon of it)
New cabinet in that closet (purchased and sitting in boxes will assemble after painting)
Move cat box into former closet space (done)
I am just doing what I can when I can, not letting go of it.
Also I want to whine a little - most of the work in life isn’t something that’s ever finished. Getting to be Done is sort of a imaginary idea. It’s never going to be done. I feel so sexist about it, too, probably falsely but my impression is historically men get to work on projects and then rest on their laurels, women do the ongoing maintenance afterwards because it’s not actually done but something that needs to be maintained. Like “here, I have built you a house! I am done!” But then someone else has to do the endless ongoing work of maintaining it.
So I honestly don’t really ever think something is done, and am sort of at ease with that.
Your whine is valid, so many things are never done. Laundry is one of the worst, not the difficulty of the job itself, it’s simple, but unless I were to go down to the building’s laundry room naked I’m already making more laundry even when I’m doing it.
Good choice moving the cat box early in the process, get the cat used to it while it’s still a mess.
Here’s Carol Channing on housework:
Soooo, you don’t help around the house. Got it.
Struggled with this since ages. Recently I just made a service public. Now I get pressure by being scared of negative feedback. Unhealthy, but it works.
In my experience, this only works for so long and then starts brewing resentment. I’ve been selling 3D prints but have grown tired of it and now it takes so much effort to complete.
@zr0 I’m afraid you’re onto something, thank you for your response :ablobcatheartsqueeze:
be faster than the honeymoon phase?
This but the other way around. Keep the projects (or sub-goals) small enough that the statement above holds true.
Easy.
TL;DR: force yourself and be conscience that your brain is trying to trick you
I think you have to get used to the fact that many things get more boring over time but still need a human hand to guide them to completion, and you need to remember that it feels so much better to have a finished project rather than an unfinished one.
If you think about it, all things in the world are like this to some extent. Cooking a meal can be like that. Learning and practicing a song can be like that, or learning a language; it eventually feels like you’re getting diminishing returns on any time spent studying it further.1
Going to the gym or on a hike can be like that. Or even playing videogames, or scrolling on a phone - which is why we eventually stop doing those tasks!
I believe that getting used to doing high dopamine tasks without a schedule, i.e we only end when it gets boring, trains us to see other tasks these ways - “it’s boring now, let’s call the project quits.” Every time you see something through to completion you are training yoir brain to do better.
1okay actually learning a language is more of a “this is so fun, i’m learning the cokours and how to say hello!” To “this is such a slog… i can’t even…” to then being anle to read books in the language and study it the same way you studied your native one in school; “how do we best formulate sentences, write academic reports, write poetry in this language?”
In this way, you see that the completion of one boring project enables you to start an even more fun one!
When you have no safety net it’s pretty easy to keep going no matter how tough or boring it is. I striped the shingles (4 layers), pulled the nails, fixed the 1x4 slats where needed, sheathed, and reroofed about 2500 sq ft with my own two hands. I had one person as ground support.
I broke it up into sections I could complete in about a week when the weather would cooperate.
The entire house is a major project. I call it a slum lord house. There was zero insulation, the windows suck, the electrical system was still mostly knob and tube, the roof was basically shot, the roof was saddling in one area, the plumbing lines switched randomly between steel, pvc, and cpvc, plus the water heater was plumbed backwards. I’ve still got to replace the windows, insulate the floor joists, and fix a few other things but it’s in a lot better condition than when we moved in.
Simply put, how do you eat an elephant alone? One bite at a time. When you take on a big project you have to keep working at it. You may need breaks but you keep going back for more.
This assumes the project is structured well enough that team members are working within the scope of their actual expertise.
I’m working on a nightmare project right now, which started in January, is expected to run untill at least the end of the year, and has multiple launch phases captured within a non-standard numbering system. People are expected to give their complete attention to this project, while simultaneously working their day jobs. There aren’t a lot of experts, so everyone is expected to step up and contribute wherre they can. However the few experts we have are being stretched very thin and asked to complete tasks they’re not trained in and have no background, like validation scripting and testing. How do you eat the elephant when you haven’t been given the tools to support it?
Perseverance.
Honestly, that’s it. I think it’s a learned skill, too. I should put “death march projects” on my resume.
Start with the most boring part. Rince and repeat!
Scope it so that the project should be close to done when the honeymoon phase wears off.
If you’re deciding to restore a classic Corvette in your garage and buy an old wreck before you even know anything about cars, you’re going to fall off that cliff way too early.
Ambition is the thief of joy, or something.
Money. My sole motivation for working is money.
Oh, you mean personal projects? I’m not ashamed to bag something if it’s not working out.
I’m this way. It took me 3 years to finish my kids treehouse. My only advice is that the first 3rd of any project is the fun part, and the last 3rd is just pure willpower. Gotta force yourself to see it through, but when you finish a project it’s such a great feeling. It’s worth it.
For me the first third is finding where the fuck my ADHD put the tools from my last project.
I’m definitely this way. I normally am very organized, but for whatever reason I can never find the tool I’m looking for.
Lots of great advice in this thread so let me offer a complementary approach: when you find yourself feeling reluctant to work on the project, sit with that feeling and ask yourself where the sensation is coming from (and it might not be obvious at first—a therapist would be able to help you untangle the feelings).
In my case I learned I have a fear of failure. Once all the “easy” parts are done, and I don’t know quite how to do the next step, I start feeling uncomfortable. Not continuing is safe, because I don’t have to find out whether I will be successful. Learning new things usually requires trying and failing, and failing is uncomfortable, and our body is doing its best to keep us feeling safe.
I’ve used most of the other suggestions in this thread and they do work to varying degrees. But my TLDR advice is that these strategies are often coping mechanisms for some underlying lizard brain emotion going on. If you can gain some self-awareness about that emotion then you will gain power over it, be able to soothe it, and thus be less reliant on an external strategy.
@charmed_electron Thank you so much, I think you managed to put something into words that was kind of floating in shame and avoidance. I appreciate this :ablobcatheartsqueeze: :ablobcatheart:
