Link : https://vger.to/lemmy.world/c/rape
I’m a french feminist guy. I created a safe space for all Survivors and their loved ones, exactly like r/rape on Reddit. BUT, btw, not EXACLTY. r/rape is pretty wild and had bad moderation. r/SexualAsssault is ALSO weird and sometimes wild. r/MenGetRapedToo is too little to become one day a first-class resource on Reddit.
So, I want make my Lemmy community useful for all users. What are the things you want to see in it ? I’ve already decided to add links and ressources redirecting to RAINN.org, hotlines, and other useful helps. What can I do After this ?
Not speaking on the community, or topic, or ethics or any thing other than the emblem, so take this commentary in the spirit it is intended…
Don’t be surprised if you have a non-zero number of people looking to capture the Avatar to restore their honor.
What do you mean here ? “Restore their honor” ?
What do you mean here ? “Restore their honor” ?
It’s a terrible joke about a tv show from the early 00s. One of the characters has a scar over his eye like your logo and a similar head shape…
Oh, I didn’t know ! It’s a free image from Wikipedia, apparently it was a Russian poster.
Oh no, it’s nothing you did… my brain is good for nothing but anxiety and random associations.
Half the battle is knowing you’re not alone. Good job!
Exactly. My community reach his first third-party post today !
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You got a great cause idk if Lemmy is place sexual assault victims. About 30% of lurkers are really toxic and tribal to an unhealthy degree. Maybe they wouldn’t touch serious subject matter like sexual assault.
Just to state the obvious that moderation would be necessary
Yes, but I’m here to moderate.
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Copy-pasting the comment I made on your deleted post just now, so take it with a grain of salt if the below excerpt no longer applies. 😊
It will, to say the least, be interesting to see where this goes! Good luck and thank you for taking on this endeavor!
Depending on the severity of the behavior and whether the person has repeatedly caused problems, disciplinary action may range from a warning to a complete ban from the community.
I don’t quite see the reason for instituting a “warning” step as a precursor to a ban, in the context of guarding the community against predators, that is. If you also meant to include other misbehavior than predation, I digress. All in all, I don’t believe in “discussing” indecency on support forums. Quotation marks, because to me, such discussions are already saying, “it’s okay, but don’t do it again.” Carefully consider if that’s the message you want to be sending!Also: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClY_XjoiYXc
The trans communities on for instance (pun intended) piefed.blahaj.zone have fantastic safeguarding rules, which you might want to have a look at for inspiration! 🙂
Thanks and good luck!
What I meant was that if it’s just a simple mistake or a lack of knowledge, I’m not going to immediately rule out someone who might also need help. Thanks for the resources—I’ll check them out as soon as possible!
I’d have parked it ANYWHERE that wasn’t .world, especially considering the fact that you’re trying to escape reddit, but it’s good that it exists nonetheless.
Do I need to recreate my communities everywhere on the Lemiverse ?
Entirely up to you. Some people love .world. Personally, I think they’re trying to run it like Reddit. A lot of bias and arrogance in the admin team. That and they’d rather allow propaganda as long as it’s polite than they would allow people that call it out. So if there’s issues in your communities that require admin intervention. It probably won’t go your way as long as whoever is being an ass is being polite about it.
It’s like they can’t tell the difference between and asshole that’s pretending to be nice, and someone that’s just being nice.
Ok, but this will take long time. Which are the best instances for start others Survivors spaces, in your opinion ?
May I suggest considering what the community is supposed to be?
For example, an invite only safe space for survivors. Sharing is difficult, sharing trauma publicly perhaps more so. Should be private and invite only for survivors. Also make a mod team with governance that respects the community, up front, in writing.
If going for a forum where allies are allowed, consider the will of survivors. It’s their forum. Let them decide who and what is or isn’t shared, and whether open, invite or survivor invite only.
You can build 3 related communities if they choose. One for survivors, one for survivors and allies and one for survivors, allies and the public with different contributions and interactions.
Oh good idea. So, rape for Survivors, and rapeallies ? Why for the public ?
rapeallies
for the allies of rape
“Allies in healing”, title of a book about the support provided by families. The name of community is provided by another user.
just felt like pointing out how weird a name it would be
Oh 😭 I’m confused and sorry.
Perhaps a community of survivors and or allies has dialogue and insight they want to share publicly. “I wish the public were more aware about x”. Dispelling common myths for example. Sharing public information from outside sources.
For example, I heard Darun Khalel’s story (trigger warning) It was a powerful example of how even someone who did all the right things before during and after has to fight a system stacked against them. I came home and told my wife and daughter about this immediately and had another discussion about safety, trusting your instincts and what to do.
Edit: also the public forum could serve as a proving ground for vetting allies before inviting them to the next tier.
Ok ! Anyway, that’s a great idea ! How to call this community ? SexualAssaultInfo ?
That name definitely requires more thought.
But whyyyyy ? I do it just like Reddit.
Read “SexualAssaultInformation” as if you didn’t already know anything about the community, but were just seeing the name for the first time. What is this, an instructional community? Do they have a how-to guide?
Oh ! Sorry. So, idk ? An idea of name ? “AgainstSexualAssault” ?
Ask them, not me.
I don’t think you need to keep the naming structure the same as Reddit, especially if you don’t need to keep any official connection to the subreddit moderators and you disagree with how they ran things
If you’re looking for names, perhaps “sexual assault support”? Or just “sexual assault”, and ignore whatever went wrong with the subreddit
You can also link to related communities once you find ones that align with what you’re trying to do. For example, !mensliberation@lemmy.ca sounds related to what you have described
Ok. Hmm hmm. Sexual Assault Support sounds greate, so I’m probably going to rename the community description.
I saw your community link, but… Typically the type of content you can’t post on my communities. This is sexist. As a man I was assaulted. Both genders are victims.
Yea I thought of that name because that’s the phrasing used by the organization at my former university, which I know has done good work. In case you find any helpful resources, their website is here: https://www.amssasc.ca/
I’m sure there are many other excellent organizations out there.
Typically the type of content you can’t post on my communities
Yea that’s my bad, I haven’t kept up with that community since subscribing to it a few years ago. It looks like the discussion in that community has gotten less focussed and shifted towards discussing areas of controversy. I agree it’s not the kind of stuff you’d want for your community.
When I first subscribed to it, it was closer to what they still have in their sidebar:
This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
All the more reason why your new communities will be helpful :)
Thank you ! I’m addind your resource to the sidebar.
I love this so much! Thank you!!
RAINN is great for resources! I pull their stats often and there’s great resources there.
I’d love to see discussions about awareness and reduction. There’s quite a few deeply caring and intelligent Lemmings who would treat such discussions with respect.
You will need to moderate very closely. There’s a lot of users here who victim blame and push that false reporting is more damaging than actually being raped. It is imperative that those views aren’t tolerated if victims are going to feel safe sharing their stories.
Thank you for the point of view ! Idk how an user can integrate a mod team on Lemmy, but if you want, you’re welcome. Ok, I’m checklisting that lol.
Sorry for dumb english, also.
All users are welcome. EXCEPTED in case of victim blaming, harmful purposes, creepy DM(s), Etc. In this case, you can comment the username into a mod post in the community, called “Court Room”, and I’ll ban it.
keep in mind that moderation has it’s own tools as well too, you will want to be careful of the public witch hunt system that could become. Anyone can report posts and comments like:
And the little “shield” icon you see in the top right of lemmy shows those reports. And you can then choose to take actions like
(You won’t have access to all of those tools if you’re just managing the community, but the same workflow applies)
So put all your rules in the sidebar, remove comments or posts that break them, and ban users that are repeat offenders or especially hateful
Cool ! I reviewed that and started to getting closer with mod tools. Useful !
I’d like a list of resources in the sidebar. There are websites and organizations around the world that are founded to help rape victims and their loved ones with the issues they have to deal with.
Also resources for how to get away from abusive spouses or even abusive communities. Knowing where to go, how to build a new support network, how to get the resources to move away.
You could draft a sidebar in a post and let the community comment suggested changes to it.
The best idea imo. I’m currently writing that, but I’ll just going to post and pin the post. This is the easier way to access the resources with low capacities device (like smartphone).
Also resources for how to get away from abusive spouses or even abusive communities.
This is a great suggestion.
Mainly, the hotlines are ALSO these resources to get rid of dangerous partners. That’s why I put the biggest possible number of useful (and still active !) resources into my guides. You can see it, pinned, in the communities.
I put together a mental health crisis resource for fedi. There’s a couple things I’ve been meaning to update but overall I’m pretty happy with it.
Greate ! I’ll add this to the pinned ressources post and the “STUFF” into the community sidebar.
I’ve never been sexually assaulted or sexually assaulted anyone (weird “confession” I never thought I’d make), but I just wanted to say that’s an awesome initiative. ❤️🤝
Thank you.
Trauma aware text only, as in trigger warnings and stuff like that.
Although I understand the suggestion, it would be inappropriate and impossible to put into practice. During my time on Reddit, I’ve observed that certain things are very triggering for some people, and not at all for others. Therefore, deciding whether a text is “triggering” or not cannot be left up to the moderator’s discretion. Nevertheless, I’ve taken note and will add a rule regarding the inclusion of essential “TW” (Trigger Warning) labels in the post title.
Rules in the sidebar are a good idea. 3-5 is plenty. And I would reserve one as a bit more vague, like “don’t behave like a jerk”.
The rules can evolve over time as you see the points of friction in how users behave. The jerk rule lets you ban assholes without them running screaming to the admins or one of the fediverse drama communities.
Ok ! I’ll change that.
Rule 1: Be excellent to each other
Good ideas, I’ll change that.
I prefer lemmots
Sorry, but I prefer on-topic comments.
