I have. And I think folks should be able to talk about it without being stigmatized or harassed for sharing their experiences.

  • yermaw@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    2 hours ago

    No. I’ve had a lot of unwanted advances, accusations of “being gay” when I wouldn’t put out with women. Been hit on many times by gay men but they’ve been pretty chill about it mostly.

    Had my brother dump a gay in my bedroom so he could get freaky with his friend. The gay assumed I was into it and kept moving closer to me sitting on the bed. I’m just trying to watch south park. He got a bit animated when I had to explicitly tell him I’m not at all gay.

    I’m lucky though, I’m 6ft and built like a bear. Nobody properly tries forcing anything. My sheer size and stature do the fighting for me. Which is very lucky as I fight like a teddy bear…

  • QueenHawlSera@piefed.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    9 hours ago

    When I was in middle school, my bully shoved four of his fingers up my butt on the school bus ride home. I never told anyone, because I was told by the Bus Driver that the bus was “Constantly being recorded” and that if anyone “did anything” it would be caught on video. A lie to prevent kids from talking I guess.

    More recently at a Wendesday Breakfast/Food Bank, there’s a severely mentally handicapped individual who grabbed my boobs without permission multiple times. I didn’t know how to file a report someone so blatantly mentally disabled (I really don’t know how to politely say what he was), and he was well liked by the staff anyway, so I just stopped going.

  • MuttMutt@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    7 hours ago

    I (M) was SA’d by my cousin (M) for multiple years starting at around 8 or 9. He was 5 years older than me.

    I might just take an angle grinder to his headstone some day and carve PEDO into it, so everyone knows what he was.

  • insanemantis@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    7 hours ago

    Had a long distance gf when I was 14 who told me she would break up with me if I didn’t show my D on Skype. We were both minors but it definitely ticks the coercion box

  • Wataba@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    8 hours ago

    Twice, on school grounds, then on a school trip, both by students. Both boys, and i was too at the time. Two different fucking schools to cap it off.

    I blame Mormon indoctrination and my dead cunt of a mother for brainwashing me into staying quiet back then.

    Needless to say, while I staunchly advocate trans rights, i dont think I’ll ever feel comfortable getting in bed with a pre-op trans woman. And i absolutely wouldnt with any male ever.

  • TheRiskiestBiscuit@reddthat.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    11 hours ago

    My ex (and her friends) from over 20 years ago peer pressured me (and probably her, too) into having sex way earlier than I intended. Then she regretted it and became increasingly distant. Then I resented her for becoming distant. Then I started having non-sexual relationships with others and she resented that, so she started having casual sex with my bandmates. It was terrible for everyone involved. Should have just stood my ground when I said no the first time…

    Not a typical “me too” story and I won’t pretend that the experience was anywhere near as traumatic as others have had, though it was traumatic for me and destroyed years of my young life.

  • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    85
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    19 hours ago

    I’ve had my full dick and balls groped by an older (like 50’s) lady at one of my jobs (I was maybe 20-21). Brought it up to management and was told “What!? No way! She’s just a sweet old lady, she would never do anything like that!”

    Meanwhile she not only grabbed my whole ass genitalia, she whispered “I’d love to see all this up close” while doing so.

    No one ever believed me and it happened multiple times hence why I no longer work there…

    • garbagebagel@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      8 hours ago

      I hear this so often from young men (or men who were at one point young men). It’s absolutely disgusting and should be spoken about more. Even if they do believe the men, they’ll say they’re somehow “lucky” to have gotten a woman’s attention.

      I’m so sorry it happened to you.

    • BeelzebubEiNukuKoskaan@piefed.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      22
      ·
      19 hours ago

      I can totally believe that. I spent most of my teenage years playing bass in my dads band, the band played mostly in pubs, bars and restaurants, audience was usually +40 years of age. It was quite a surprise for me how aggressive a middle aged drunk woman can be. I got touched so much for years, until I learned to run off stage and dive into the van or back stage room, which ever was the closest.

  • BluescreenOfDeath@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    59
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    19 hours ago

    I have been coerced before, by my ex wife.

    Long story made short, if she wanted sex and I didn’t, and I said no, it would always pan out the same way. We’d start at “Did I do something wrong?” And end up at “everyone hates me and I should just go ahead and kill myself.” So I stopped saying no even if I didn’t want to, because honestly it was faster to just give her what she wanted.

    As a man, it feels so minor compared to what everyone else will associate with sexual abuse, but my therapist tells me abuse is abuse and that nobody would question it if the genders were reversed.

    It’s had effects even 5 years after we’ve separated, but I’m getting better. Learning to take up space again.

  • MarieMarion@literature.cafe
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    15 hours ago

    Raped as a kid by a family member (a woman),
    Raped as a teen by a predator “boyfriend” who was well into his 30s,
    Raped by my gynaecologist during an IUD insertion appointement, SAed by my boss’s best friend during a work party.

    I’m tired, boss.

  • skulblaka@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    15 hours ago

    Yeah. I’m a guy, I was maybe 15 at the time. I was at the library, and met my buddy’s girlfriend there randomly.

    I learned after the fact that she was sleeping around with a bunch of guys to prove some kind of a point, I don’t know what exactly. She was kind of generally awful.

    But yeah, we spoke briefly in the library and then I took off home. She followed me home. I didn’t know this until she knocked on my door and let herself inside, and from there I was just so off-balance by the entire thing that I just went along with it. She pinned me on the couch and started kissing on me and things went from there. I put up some kind of token resistance, I think, but I barely knew what was going on, I had never had any kind of sex before, I had barely had a girlfriend before, I was in completely foreign territory and just let myself get led by the nose into something I didn’t want to do.

    It caused a big, massive fight between me, her, and the buddy in question (who I was actually really close with and I got really messed up by this whole interaction) but it eventually ended up the best way it could have, where we both cut all contact with her and basically never saw her again.

    But to this day I still have consent issues, especially I find it hard to initiate sex even with someone who I absolutely know is into it and wants it. I just can’t. A recent ex and I eventually broke up because I would never initiate so, we just never did it. Just the possibility of putting someone in that kind of situation just puts me completely off the mood, if I’m not the one being advanced upon, it just doesn’t happen.

  • Punkie@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    47
    ·
    19 hours ago

    Yes, was SA’s by a priest when I was a kid (mid 1970s), along with a lot of other people over a 30-40 year span. In the late 1980s, there was a joint lawsuit against him, with about 130 cases, many willing to testify. But he was a “pillar of the community,” and had stronger support (and lawyers) on his side. It went back and forth for a few years, then he died of a heart attack. The case kind of died with him, except his widow went after some of us with ruthless cruelty and legal harassment.

    • digdig@piefed.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      14 hours ago

      It wasn’t the priest in my case, it was elder members of the Church. Nothing could be proved, I still deal with it now, happened in the 80’s.

      I have a very strong aversion to religion an spirituality in general, it fundamentally changed who I am.

      I got so angry the other day, they stole any spirituality I could participate in. I felt jealous of those who have it.

      But I play a mean guitar, I am filthy.

      And I help others with trauma issues.

      It helps.

      Good luck in your journey my friend.

  • Starya67@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    36
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    18 hours ago

    I’m a woman.

    I was SA-ed when I was 7. A teacher saved me, it would have been more than SA if he hadn’t. My mother said “I know, don’t mention it again” when I told her.

    I’ve been coerced into sex by both my (ex) husband and boyfriends multiple times because I thought women had a duty to say yes when they wanted sex. I was forced to have anal sex without lube a bunch of times.

    I never want to have sex with a guy again.

    • Boo! Haunted House!@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      19
      ·
      16 hours ago

      First off, may I just say fuck your mother for dismissing such an awful thing that happened to you. Are you low/no-contact with her?

      Second, I’m sorry that experience was the beginning of so many others. I don’t know your orientation or preferences, but I at least hope you can find a stable relationship with someone who respects you more than the men you’ve had in your life so far.

  • Cherry@piefed.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    15
    ·
    16 hours ago

    The other aspect of not discussing it is even if it’s acceptable some people get hurt about it. Even though you know you can you don’t, because it’s upsetting.

    I have been assaulted. In the early years I wanted to talk about it, some people would but I felt like a weirdo discussing it, like I could handle it more than them. And then when you are calm and cool when discussing it there’s those who accuse you of being too cold about it. The people around me who love me can’t handle it, then it stopped being discussed it and it becomes a sad dirty little secret.

  • velma@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    44
    arrow-down
    4
    ·
    19 hours ago

    Yes and every woman I know personally has either been raped or sexually assaulted. My own mother and sisters included. I have a sneaking suspicion that my dad has his own story, but I don’t know the details.

    My ex-husband was propositioned by his step-father when he turned 18 years old.

    My best friend was routinely raped by her husband until she could finally leave him.

    My own stories are varied and have happened sporadically through my life.