Rules: explain why
Ready player one.
That has to be one of the cringiest movies I’ve seen, is tries so hard, too hard with it’s “WE LOVE YOU NERD, YOU’RE SO COOL FOR PLAYING GAMES AND GETTING THIS 80S REFERENCE” message and the whole “corporation bad, the people good” narrative seems written for toddlers… The fan service feels cheap and adds nothing to the story.
Finally, they trying to make the people believe that very attractive girl with a barely visible red tint spot on her face is “ugly”… Like wtf?
Yet it received decent reviews plus being one of the most successful movies of that year.
Forest Gump. The 1994 Best Picture nominees were some of the most highly competitive the Academy has ever had, and they went with the one that was just a straight-up terrible fucking movie. It has no value except as nostalgia bait for Americans and propaganda for those who want to believe in the myth of American individual exceptionalism.
Its musical score is also probably the worst thing I’ve ever had the misfortune of performing in an orchestra. Dull and repetitive.
And its most famous line is straight-up bullshit. I’ve heard the book does it differently, but the movie puts “something that kinda sounds deep to a 14 year old” over a level of rationality that stands up to 20 seconds of thought from an average person. A box of chocolates tells you precisely what you’re going to be getting.
Interstellar. That ending was so unbelievably dumb that I can’t even stomach the rest of the movie thinking about it.
I know it’s got rave reviews, a stacked cast, Nolan directing. Plenty was pretty, cool concepts, high stakes scenes. But that ending… shudders
honestly, i disagree. i really don’t see the big problems with the ending. i actually even like it.
the library (called a tesseract in the movie) is constructed by the future humans, who have control of 5d space, and who include Murphy, who actually lived in the room connected to the tesseract. it’s built to look like that, so Cooper, a 3d being, can actually understand it. it’s basically stretching out time and gravity into a 3d space. the library is not something the black hole made up because Cooper loves Murphy (which i thought what happened on my first watch), it’s what the future humans made with the help of the black hole. love ties thematically into it, 'cause Cooper loves and knows Murphy so well, he knows how to tell her the quantum data from the black hole, or something. and Cooper, or the future humans for that matter, can’t say or do anything directly, 'cause in the past, they’re only able to affect gravity (and because of the construction of the tesseract, Cooper can only control the gravity of that one room.) the reason for why the future humans don’t go just directly do it themselves is explained as them not being able to pinpoint a specific space, or time for it, which is why Cooper, who can traverse the tesseract for a specific point in time and space in that room to tell Murphy the quantum data, which allows the future humans to do all of the crazy 5d stuff.
anyway, sorry for the rambling. Interstellar is my favourite movie, and i really love even the ending of it. multiple scenes, including the ending, make me bawl like a baby, like no other movie has done to me, and i love all the hard sci-fi it has. sci-fi so hard, that physicists learned something new about black holes, because of the equations used to make the black hole cgi in it.
Pretty much all of the Avengers films.
They aren’t engaging in any way. The characters are unintelligent and full of self importance. The whole franchise is Just loud noises and shark jumping.
James Cameron’s Avatar series.
Then again… Does anyone actually like it? It seems to have all this online hype when it’s such a boring visual spectacle.
It’s like the opposite of the other Avatar franchise, which wasn’t a commercial hit, and seems less popular on paper, but seems to have a massive cultural impact.
Inglourious Basterds.
However much I liked all the Tarantino flicks before this one, I just cannot get into Inglourious. Also, everything Tarantino made after that movie is also tainted by the same uneasy feeling I get. If pressed to guess why, I’d say he took the stories out of the ‘now’ and transported them to other times and places, which just does not seem to agree with me.
I think Basterds was his first movie that casually re-wrote history, which threw off the movie’s tone for me. Like a historical “what if” movie. And every movie he’s done since then has the same feel to me now.
If you think Ernest Cline’s movie is cringy, wait until you read his poetry. Absolutely one of the worst piece of writing I’ve ever read.
And it only gets worse from there.
ET, Ghost Busters, Back to The Future, Anything Marvel, DC apart from Joker. And many more.
Marvel movies. Yes all of them. They’re trash. It’s just cgi slop, badly written one-dimensional characters, cliché tropes, formulaic stories, plotholes bigger than meteorcraters and brainless action sequences. A cashgrab.
A saw a couple; I gave them a fair chance. They’re all the same. The appeal is beyond me. Brainrot at its finest.
Spirited Away
No consistent world, cringy behaviour of the main character, love story out of nowhere, you can’t have a plot twist if you didn’t have any previously established lore. It felt a bit like a dream that was trying to take itself seriously as an actual story.
Spirited Away, and to some degree all Ghibli stuff leans very heavily on a shared cultural Mythos. It doesn’t do exposition in the same way that zombies or angels aren’t explained; everyone knows that stuff because we all grew up with a million references.
how dare you
Upvote
Lord of the Rings.
I understand and respect the seminal role LotR (Book) has as a fantasy work. I have to, as a fantasy nerd myself.
I also believe that those three movies that everyone loves could be edited down into one and not much would be lost.
God DAMN do those films drag ON and ON and ON.
The books, too, drag on like Tolkien was being paid by the individual word. Thankfully with books I can set the pace at which things go.
Disney’s Hercules.
Because it completely butchers greek mythology. Of course, that’s to be expected from a kid’s movie (especially Disney) but I’ve been a greek mythology fan from an early age and this movie really disappointed me as a child.
This was a really popular opinion at the time if I recall.
Counterpoint: it’s one of the better Disney movies IMO. The gospel soundtrack slaps, and Danny DeVito, James Woods, and Susan Egan are all perfect in their roles.
Also, I blame Meg at least in part for my lifelong weakness for skinny dark-haired sarcastic women. But that’s on me.
The English Patient. Sex in a tub? That doesn’t work!
But for real, Elaine is right, The English Patient sucks. What a fucking bore of a film to watch.
i see a seinfeld reference
Giddy up!
The Shawshank Redemption. My boyfriend at the time absolutely loved this film. I can’t stand it. Blokes in prison are so Noble and Misunderstood. They deserve to be free! Bleurgh.
I’m curious to know how that was your takeaway from the movie. The protagonist was wrongly imprisoned and I thought the film thoroughly demonstrated the worst of humanity in some of the incarcerated, juxtaposed against the corruption of prison staff and the protagonist’s own struggle for a pretty powerful message.
Maybe I need to watch it again. It’s been years.
Titanic.
The hype here was insane, when I finally saw it the experience was… underwhelming. Such a boring slog of a movie, mediocre CGI when disaster finally struck and that stupid end… Get on the piece of wood that is obviously big enough to hold you both, you dolt.
Only upside is that I watched it on TV, so apart from some hours of my life I’ll never get back it didn’t cost me anything.
The explanation about the door is that it wasn’t about the size, it was about the buoyancy. If they both got on it then they both would’ve sunk
It wasn’t about size or buoyancy, it’s about the plot. Jack had to die, and that was the prop they had.
If you wanna retcon an explanation onto it, I’d say its about stability. They’d both be kept afloat, but they’d get wet.
I didn’t retcon anything, I knew it, and I googled it to confirm before i posted. Cameron has said this himself. Mythbusters even tested it and showed that unless they did a trick with the life jacket then they both would’ve drowned if they both tried to stay on the door
Borat.
Supposedly it’s a comedy, but it’s completely devoid of humor.
Borat isn’t my favorite of the genre but I love those kinds of movies that mix fictional plot line with interactions of real strangers. I wish there was more love for those kinds of projects.
Borat (and SBC in general) is known for treating those real strangers like shit and leaving the places they film in worse off than when they got there.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borat check under controversies.
Yeah… The part where they tricked the town into thinking it was a real movie and gave them scripts reflecting as such, then just put the jokes the studio ACTUALLY wanted in the subtitles was really low of them to do. I don’t see how that’s at all removed from just doing “Kazakhstan: The Minstrel Show”
I will say I liked the movie a lot better before I knew that. When I first saw it I was a highschooler who had assumed Kazakhstan was a fictional place made to be a stand-in for Eastern European countries. Even when I learned it was a real place, I thought surely they just made a set or something.
Because only a monster would actually fly to a third world country, say you’re going to bring in a lot of money for a town that desprately needs it, pay them far less than they were promised, and blatantly lie and say that it’s a film about a guy going off on a big fantasy adventure instead of some white guy doing brown face to show how backwards and evil not only the town, but the nation as a whole is…
