I’ve seen people consider even 5’7" as short for some reason so i’m curious if it has happened with someone

  • Kangy@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    10·
    7 days ago

    I’m 5ft11 and I think I just get rejected for being myself rather than my height 🤷🏼‍♂️

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
    4·
    6 days ago

    I’m a tall lady (for my area, though shortest of my siblings), about the average height of guys here, and yeah. Some guys have sounded very accusatory actually - as though I grew tall on purpose to make them feel short. Oddly enough, none of those were literally short guys.

    No big deal, I like my height, shorter is not something I’ve ever wished to be. All 3 of my long term relationships have been with guys about my same height.

    • Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      2·
      6 days ago

      I’d consider myself to not care about if my partner was higher than me.
      But if I am really honest with me, I do think it would hurt my pride if my partner was taller.
      I am totally fine if equal or whatever else size. But I believe if the personality is near total hit and fits mine, I could totally see past that.

  • BenjiRenji@feddit.org
    4·
    7 days ago

    I’m a tiny bit shorter than 5’7" and yes, rejected multiple times because of it, but they don’t always tell you why, so some of it is speculation. I’ve dated taller women a few times as well, so it’s not that bad. My wife now is a lot shorter though, but I don’t think height played much a role for us. If I were much taller we may even be incompatible.

    • SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world
      3·
      7 days ago

      I’m 6’2" and I dated a woman taller than me. That was very odd not having to look down or crouch to hug. lol

      I dated one woman who was so much shorter compared to me our favorite time to kiss was on the stairs.

  • SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    1·
    6 days ago

    I’m 5’6. Yeah. So much. I was rejected like crazy for my height in my teens and early twenties, but I lived in a particularly shitty part of the United States, so I’m not surprised in retrospect. I also dated a ton, so there was a lot of opportunity for rejection. I even remember a woman I was not interested in and had shown absolutely no interest in going out of her way to tell me she would date me if I wasn’t so short.

    I relocated to a much more progressive part of the country and it hasn’t come up once in nearly a decade.

    Edit: I should mention it was only an issue with women, I never heard anything about it from men.

  • Crampi@sh.itjust.works
    846·
    8 days ago

    I’m guessing you’re a man ?

    I’m 5’4 male and average looking and a bit chubby

    Dude, if you have decent hygiene, are a basic human being and treat people with respect, you will rise above all the other men who are stupid, racist, sexist, entitled pieces of shit

    The bar is set REALLY low

    Really Really low

    Also if someone rejects you for your height consider he/she is doing you a favor by signaling he/she is not mature / has fucked up priorities for a relationship

    • Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      293·
      8 days ago

      This absolutely. I’m a 5’1" lady, and I do like my partner to be taller than me, but basically everyone is taller than me.

      If you lined up every man I’ve dated over my lifetime, you’d see men from 5’2" to 6’4".

      The right people are there for the person, not shallow bullshit. Hygiene is the best indicator, yes. Good hygiene, nice person, you’ll find success.

      When my now husband told me he was 6’3" my jaw dropped. Sure I was happy (he can reach the top shelf for me) but I seriously wouldn’t have batted an eye if he was shorter

      Date kind people, not shallow cunts and you should be okay.

      I dated one guy who told me he was 5’10". He was kind of a cunt. He was actually 5’7". It just showcased his insecurity. I didn’t like that. Wear yourself with pride. No one choses to be short/tall. Accept yourself and others will too.

    • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network
      161·
      8 days ago

      The bar is set REALLY low

      There’s a saying “the bar for men is in hell”

      I thought it meant there was a drinking establishment for men in hell. They go and drink with the devil, and that’s where they get all their bad ideas. They’re doing shots and the devil’s like “say she’s fat”, and the guy is like “good advice bro”.

      Turns out the saying just means the bar is super low. So low you don’t even have to jump. It’s so low, it’s deeper than the depths of the earth and in the fires of hell that burn below.

      But yeah, so many men are so horrible, it’s shockingly easy to rise above them.

      • dil@lemmy.zip
        4·
        7 days ago

        How old are you, im curious if its a generational thing, like mid 20s women will straight up openly say theyd never date a man under a certain height openly in public lol

        • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network
          41·
          7 days ago

          I’m ~40, so I don’t date or spend much time with people in their 20s.

          I have seen the occasional profile demanding a certain height, but I just skip on it immediately.

          I wonder if it correlates with other attributes? I’m also very left wing so I don’t interact with conservatives much, for example. Maybe “I need a tall man and I’ll say it out loud” happens more there?

          • dil@lemmy.zip
            1·
            6 days ago

            ive seen both political ends say it, some ppl are hung up on height for whatever reason

      • dil@lemmy.zip
        11·
        7 days ago

        idk im thankful for my friends but ik its a bubble forsure, everyones divisive and shallow lately, woman especially, because modern woman, have infinite choice, you wont feel content, compared to modern average dude with minimal choices desperate to keep what they can get coming off desperate and insecure lol

    • dil@lemmy.zip
      6·
      7 days ago

      People do get rejected for their height lol, ppl are shallow, all woman aren’t saints, what you should be saying is you should avoid anyone that cares about height, theyll remove themselves and its a non issue, ive had girls attracted to me calling me 6 foot be less atteacted to me visibly when I corrected them and said im actually 5 10 no logic in it lol

      • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
        41·
        7 days ago

        People do get rejected for their height lol

        People also get rejected for not being 300 lbs. Everyone has tastes.

        I think the number of girls out there ACTUALLY rejecting people for height is not as many as you’d think. And good riddance.

    • blarghly@lemmy.worldEnglish
      78·
      7 days ago

      I will say that this is some significant gaslighting. The bar is by no means “on the ground” if you are a guy - unless maybe your bar for women is also on the ground. Like, could you woo a grossly overweight, extremely insecure woman who works at Walmart and has no hobbies other than complaining about her more successful sister? Yeah, probably. But idk, I personally have standards in both the looks and personality department for women I want to date, and these are not some superficial “shallow” standards - they are standards without which I seriously have no interest whatsoever in spending time with or sleeping with a potential partner.

      So the question is - where is the bar for the women you’d be interested in dating? Like, the cute, athletic, cheerful, intelligent, successful girls who usually don’t break down in tears because they are out of orange juice. And the answer is - higher than you wish it was! Because every other guy also wants to date these women, and while some of those guys are shitty, a lot of them are also jacked, hilarious, kind, emotionally open, rich, and yes, tall! If you want to date these women, you have to work hard to make yourself stand out - getting in better shape, dressing in a way that looks good and expresses your personality, becoming more emotionally open and sociable, having an interesting and fun lifestyle, etc. And then you have to work hard again, because unless you are just an ungodly top shelf man, most women will still not want to date you for some reason, most of which are out of your control, so you will therefore have to shoot your shot with a lot of women until you find the ones who are into you.

      Oh my God, YES!!! WOMEN LIKE TALL GUYS!!! Obviously I don’t mean all women, but a statistical sampling of women would reveal that “being tall” or “being taller than me” is a turn on for a significant majority of women. This doesn’t mean short guys should take the black pill and give up on dating because all women are shallow bitches. But it does mean that dating will be harder if you are a short guy. This isn’t a death knell for your dating life, but it does mean you will need to work harder at the things you do have control over, and it means you’ll get rejected more often for a specific reason outside your control.

      And meanwhile, these women who aren’t into short guys aren’t “immature”, or “shallow”. They are simply staring their preferences and/or requirements. Physical attraction is important, and trying to date someone you aren’t physically attracted to is a bad way to start a relationship. After all, you probably wouldn’t want to date a girl with a face that looks like she got run over by a semi truck. That’s not fair, she can’t control how her face looks, but also, fairness doesn’t matter because you don’t want to date her. Full stop. Terminal value. Life isn’t fair, and it isn’t up to some random person you run into to make it fair for you. That’s a big case of not their problem.

      To summarize: Dating is harder for shorter guys. This is no one’s fault, and no one is being a bad person. Short guys just need to work harder. Sorry.

  • BlueLineBae@midwest.socialEnglish
    552·
    8 days ago

    Lol ok I feel dumb after looking at the comments. I thought you meant like… On rollercoaster rides or something.

  • JayleneSlide@lemmy.world
    24·
    8 days ago

    Regularly throughout my life. I’m also 5’7". It seems to be less of an issue now that I’m older. People are going to like what they like. But people who limit their choices to strict deterministic traits tend to completely skip right over awesome people, and then they wonder why they’re partners are so terrible.

    So yeah, this shit is going to happen. You’ll also get chosen for your height. Focus on improving those physical traits over which you have control.

    • tomenzgg@midwest.socialEnglish
      2·
      7 days ago

      Weird; I mean, I know it’s anicdotal but I’m 5’6" and I’ve never had anyone so much as even mention my height (maybe when around other men when I was younger once or twice but the bulk of my friends have always been more women such that I don’t truly remember).

      I guess it doesn’t really contribute to the thread but I was just genuinely surprised at such a difference of experience.

      But people who limit their choices to strict deterministic traits tend to completely skip right over awesome people, and then they wonder why they’re partners are so terrible.

      True as Hell, though.

  • thevoidzero@lemmy.world
    251·
    8 days ago

    My ex did tell me I’m shorter than she wants her bf to be. I was still talker than her by 2-3 inch but she wanted me taller than her in heels. And suggested I do exercises to get taller.

    I ended it with her soon after that. I think if someone has thought like that, there are other common patterns that makes the relationship too much to worth it. My wife now is same height as me and we’re happy about that, height difference of several inches seems weird/difficult to imagine now.