- Most outrageous / unbelievable lies
- Most offensive / dangerous lies
- Most “adult meant it as genuine advice but it’s laughably out of touch” lies
- Lies you wish you still believed
- Lies you took as truth and didn’t question it until you were way too old
Trade schools are for those who couldn’t make it into college.
I would have absolutely gone into welding if I had been told the honest truth about what the trades can earn.
Similar story - binmen. Teachers warning you that’ll be you if you dont try hard and get good grades.
Id fucking love to be a binman, way better hours, pay and perks than any other job ive ever worked.
Better live in a country where welders qualify for early retirement then, as the welders I’ve known have all developed issues with their eyesight, often starting in their late 20s or early 30s. Yes there’s a mask and every professional welder uses it because they know just how quickly they’d fuck up their eyes otherwise, but even then you’re still staring at a spark for a significant portion of your workday.
Health-wise, it’s one of the worse trades to get into because of that. Financially, of course… that’s probably part of why it pays so well.
All I got is weird, but ultimately harmless ones.
- If you eat the bread ends, you’ll eventually become able to whistle.
- If you sit too close to the TV, your eyes will turn square.
- If you swallow chewing gum, a chewing gum tree will grow in your belly.
I just wanted to share that I’ve been reading “Lies My Teacher Told Me” and it’s really good!
My parent’s friend told me that wind was caused by trees swaying and I looked pretty stupid when I proudly told my class this fact as a high school senior.
My health class was taught by our gym teacher and she was terrible at it. Some points I remembered being taught:
- Hypertension is when the hamstrings of your legs shrink because you don’t stretch every morning. Hypertension can kill you, so make sure you stretch.
- All drugs make you hallucinate. Every single one of them. Usually dragons. People die on drugs because they’re trying to get away from the dragons and jump off buildings or run into traffic.
- Babies have super suction power which they use to breastfeed. An adult cannot get milk from a breast because they can’t suck hard enough.
I learned these were wrong after starting secondary school where biology was taught by someone who studied biology. Except for the breastfeeding thing. That one was through personal research.
I thought people usually chased the dragon, rather than running away.
Except for the breastfeeding thing. That one was through personal research.
ಠ_ಠ
Raised by a hard right parent. Was told that outside the US, every country was basically third world. Even the UK, still living in the mud in medieval times under a tyrannical monarchy or some shit.
A more humorous lie I was told was if you swallowed chewing gum, you’d blow bubbles out of your butt. A family friend who told me that said it happened to their dog.
Some older people truly believe that the US is the only civilized country on earth. I was told the same as a kid whenever I complained about anything. They’d say that children born anywhere else in the world would be so much more grateful than me to be growing up in the best country on earth. This was in Kansas too, which in hindsight makes it even funnier.
“I will love you no matter what”
That changed real fuckin fast when i came out as trans
Now that I think about it, this is surely almost always a lie? I doubt many people will keep loving someone once they find out they’re a serial killer, pedophile, or worse, a conservative.
Disapproving of someone’s choices and actions doesn’t mean you don’t love them anymore. In fact that’s why it hurts more when someone you love does something truly heinous. It’s often hard to just suddenly let go when it’s your child, sibling, etc.
serial killer, pedophile, or worse, a conservative.
We can still love each and every one of them, and tell them so during visiting hours. Especially the conservative, as I suspect they quickly become some bubba’s bitch.
Sorry that happened, mate. One of our older kids is gay. Our 16 year old is non-binary. I don’t give a shit as long as they are able to thrive without assholes standing in their way. They are always welcome in my home along with any partners they find happiness with. I’m sorry I can’t be that for every child who lost the people who were supposed to have their back no matter what.
Yea same here, my mother told me that she will never be able to come to terms with my #decision
Ironic, since these parents are choosing to be terrible people filled with hate.
“This will go on your permanent record”.
Outrageous lie back in the 80s.
Unfortunately true today with the internet and the surveillance state.
“When you grow up, you can be anything you want to be.”
I wanna be a homeowner.
To be fair, “grown up” could be 19 or 95 :) so keep trying!
I was little and going through that “ask an unending stream of questions to figure out how the world works / determine the limits of your parent’s patience” phase. At one point during this my mother, who had up until this point used this as an opportunity to teach me how to research things and overall handled it with grace, began to hit her limit. And so one fine morning when I had perkily jammed myself underneath the toilet in a way that startled the living daylights out of her when she came in and I asked how toilets worked, she said in great exasperation “toilet gnomes, and you shouldn’t be down there bothering them”. This of course made perfect sense to me - someone had to crew the little boat, and humans would never fit in there.
I maintain to this day that it was an act of class solidarity that I shouldn’t be mocked for when, several days later, she found me pooping in the yard because I “didn’t want the gnomes to work too hard”.
Garden gnomes: “The fuck is this shit?”
“The fuck? Is this shit?” FTFY
With liberty and and justice for all.
Well maybe liberty should get rid of the fur ball mascot
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there is a god
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race is a biological reality
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men and women are fundamentally different
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Just world theory
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America is a force for good in the world
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The Enlightenment makes Western culture superior
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The post-war boom where a single income could buy a hose/ car/ and college was a universal reality and not exclusive to white men.
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Guns make you safe.
guns make you safe
my ex tried to kill herself with pills, i think if we had a gun she would have succeeded. i think every person i have known to die of gun wounds were self inflicted
i think every person i have known to die of gun wounds were self inflicted
I’m worried you know enough people to make a statistically significant conclusion.
Prior art confirms: overwhelmingly, the gun you are shot with will be your own. Next is one weilded by someone well-known to you.
i didn’t claim to give statistically significant conclusion, my statement was clearly anecdotal, so you can take it as such without being misleading
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- It’s illegal to turn the interior light on in the car while driving.
- If you make that face, it’ll stay like that.
- Sitting too close to the TV will give you square eyes
- If you lie, you get spots on your tongue (would then ask to show you your tongue when they asked you if you telling the truth)
- The Square box in that corner (the maximize window button on a PC) is a camera and we can watch what you do.
If you make that face, it’ll stay like that.
I was told this as well, so I’d try to look as sad, afraid and angry as possible. I’d contort my face for hours, trying to push the corners of my mouth down till it hurt. I wanted it to stay like that, so when I went to school the next day somebody would ask me what’s wrong and I could tell them about my father beating the shit out of me every day. Unfortunately, it did not stay and nobody asked.
If you lie, you get spots on your tongue
Oh lmao the spots on your tongue thing is ancient. Transient lingual papillitis, also called “lie bumps”. Ton of cultures share the myth that you get them from lying - we don’t know what causes them (and fuck do they hurt) and they’re rarely talked about, so it’s always weird to run into that in the wild; it seems so absurd you’d never expect it to be as widespread as it is.
You have strange parents. Square eyes? Spots on your tongue? Bizarre.
Hard work will always lead to success, which is why anyone can be president.
Some really solid teachers in high school were able to cover why that was bullshit just by proper framing of the material.
- Hard work
- Luck
- Generational Wealth
Pick 2 for success.
I’m starting to believe some level of sociopathy is also required
Oh boy, where do I start? I was raised by racist crack and meth addicts in the rural southern US.
Black people hate white people.
Black people are trying to replace white people on a genetic level (Great Replacement Theory).
Black people have smaller skulls and thus, smaller brains than white people, which makes them more ape-like and prone to aggression.
Black people are taller, run faster, and jump higher than white people because they have three extra muscles in their knee area. Basketball was a white people’s sport before they set the slaves free.
Black people drink and play loud music all the time because “that’s their culture”.
All black people are lazy moochers who cheat the welfare system for free money to drink and smoke crack all day because they feel entitled to it after slavery.
Black people actually liked slavery back in the day because they had a decent, simple life. Many of them begged to go back to the plantations after they were freed because they had nowhere else to go.
The world was a better place when black people were slaves because at least then, they worked. Now, you have them all sitting around, collecting welfare, having white people pay their bills for them. If you think about it, white people are the slaves now.
Just a little crack is fine, as long as you’re not an addict like those black people.
Beer is for white people. It doesn’t get you too drunk so you can still go to work. Black people don’t work, that’s why they drink liquor.
Birds have wings because they’re supposed to fly, that’s what they do. Women have wombs because they’re supposed to have babies, that’s what they do.
Men are supposed to have as many babies as possible because God says to be fruitful and multiply. But women are only supposed to have their husband’s babies to keep the bloodline pure.
I’m sure there are more, those are just the ones I haven’t repressed.
